


Born To Die

by sheriff_lester



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Album fic, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Begging, Birthday Present, Born to Die, Bottom!Dan, Break Up, Complete, Dan Howell - Freeform, Dirty Dancing, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dominant Phil, Eyeliner, Falling In Love, Gay Sex, Heartbreak, Loneliness, M/M, NSFW, Oral Sex, Phan - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Possessive Phil, Short Chapters, Smut, Song Inspired, Stripper, Stripper Dan Howell, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Submissive Dan, Swearing, Tags Are Hard, Teasing, Trust Issues, Waiter, Waiter Dan, birthday boy - Freeform, businessman phil lester, dan is poor, i'm bored and tagging everything, lana del rey - Freeform, phanfic, phil is rich, top!phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-09-12 18:54:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 39,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9085390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheriff_lester/pseuds/sheriff_lester
Summary: Lonely businessman Phil Lester and lonely stripper Dan Howell.Vaguely inspired by Born To Die: The Paradise Edition (Lana Del Rey).





	1. Born To Die

**Author's Note:**

> "I feel so alone on a Friday night" - Born To Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I feel so alone on a Friday night" - Born To Die.

The water was so hot that it stained Phil's white skin pink, practically scalding him with the heat, but he remained still beneath the stream. He tipped his head back, eyes squeezed shut and allowing the water to pour on his face, pushing his hair back and feeling the heat drip down his body, though his mind continued to spin the same thought round and round his brain. Twenty-nine. One year closer to thirty.  
Phil cut off the water and blinked, stunned by the sudden silence and the sound of his breath, then stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and winding it around his waist before taking another to dry his upper body. He stopped on his way out to look at the bathroom mirror but he could see no difference in his face - no sudden lines of age etched into his skin, no greying hairs. He was just the same as he had been the day before, when he had been twenty-eight.  
It was always silent in the apartment when he got ready, drying his body briskly with the damp towel and pulling on his shirt and suit trousers, dashing to the kitchen to put some toast in while he did his tie and dried his hair. Usually, Phil would hum a happy tune to himself or tell himself a funny story while he was getting ready for work, but this morning he wasn't in the mood for his own company. Instead, he switched on the radio and listened to the chart toppers.  
With newly dried hair and a slice of toast in his mouth, he glanced at his phone, reading the text received a few hours earlier from his parents: Happy birthday, Phil, have a wonderful day! Spend it with your friends!  
Phil rolled his eyes and typed a thank you, throwing his mobile on the bed before chewing the toast. Friends. He had colleagues that he said were his friends, but that was about it. He wasn't close enough and he was their boss, so sometimes the nights where he'd sit with them in a bar and have a beer felt like a facade.  
He didn't appear to be lonely when he strode into the office: everyone stared as their boss walked by, watching him walk quickly to his office and nodding at him. As he nodded in response, he couldn't help but think bitterly that they must be under the impression wealth and statues was equal to emotional fulfilment. He scolded himself as he entered and exited the lift that would take him to his office - it was his birthday. He shouldn't be so negative.  
Passing his secretary, he muttered a wary, "Hello, Barbara," and forced himself to return her smile. She was a sweet girl.  
"Good morning, Mr Lester. Oh, and happy birthday!"  
"Thank you, Barbara. Is my ten o'clock still on?"  
"It is, Sir."  
"Good. Thank you."  
Behind the office door, he groaned. He knew he was usually much more pleasant with his young secretary, but today he wasn't feeling it. It was as if the calendar had highlighted that though his age had changed, nothing else had. The same job, the same distant circle of company. The same empty house.  
Twenty-nine. One year closer to thirty.  
Phil placed his briefcase down on the desk in front of him and sat on his spinning desk chair, sinking into the leather and switching his computer on. While he waited for it to load, he turned and stared out of the windows behind him - the entire wall was made of glass, allowing him to see the view of London - the bustling streets, the buildings that were pretty in the right light. If he pressed his palms and nose to the glass and looked down, he could imagine he was floating high above the streets, like a superhero.  
The computer bleeped and Phil grudgingly turned back around, leaving the sight of early-morning, grey-skied London behind him and putting himself back into work mode.  
*  
Phil was fascinated by the way the sky dimmed to pale pink, streaked with soft orange and turning the buildings in front pitch black - a beautiful silhouette. He enjoyed the simplicity of the sight, the naturalness of the sunset - you couldn't put a price tag on the sun getting lower and the wash of colours that followed. He had more than enough money for pretty things, but there was something much more appealing about something not manufactured. He swayed himself slightly in his office chair, watching the sky grow darker and darker, not quite noticing the exact moment the shades changed but feeling a thrill when he could detect it happening, and was so deep in his viewing that he jumped violently when the door handle rattled, and the door opened noisily.  
Immediately he spun in the chair, frowning - he was used to people knocking on his door and requesting his permission to come in, not bombarding in like wild animals. Phil wasn't surprised, however, when he saw it was merely his colleagues, brash and noisy now that they were out of work hours; they wouldn't have dared to make such a noise when it was work hours and Phil was the big boss. It made Phil smile when he saw the glee on their faces, but he was disappointed his privacy had been invaded.  
"Ayyy, Philly!" George cried, grinning as he made his way over to the desk and whacked the top of it excitedly. "Come on, lad, it's your birthday! We have something special lined up for you!"  
"Oh, really?" Phil raised an eyebrow and fiddled with the pen on his desk - the day had been a long one, heavy with the thought of his new age and same old lifestyle, and now he craved to sit at home with some birthday cake all to himself and watch an anime. "Not tonight, guys, I'm feeling a bit -"  
"Oh, come on!" Will huffed, darting round the desk and nudging Phil off the office chair, shoving him to his feet and tugging the suit jacket off the back before throwing it at his boss. "We paid money for this, don't spoil it for us."  
"I thought since it's my birthday I get to make the rules," Phil commented, not bothering to fight being pushed back by the four men.  
"You'll love it, don't worry," George winked, switching the lights off and shutting the door behind them as they exited. Despite the lightness outside, only the cleaners were still wandering around somewhere in the building aside from the group of men; George went on, "It took us a while to work out what type you'd want, but we think we made the right decision." He paused then laughed. "If we didn't get it right then it's gonna be awkward."  
Phil frowned, yanking his arms out of grip and straightening his suit, pausing for a moment. "I hope it's not a silly present."  
The men laughed but said nothing, clearly not wanting to spoil the surprise, then stopped outside an office, jostling one another when they reached the closed door.  
"Right, get in there, sit on the chair and don't ruin this for yourself," Peter instructed. Before Phil could argue or stop the four fairly strong men, he was shoved through the door, nearly stumbling before it was slammed shut behind him, only the sound of giggling and cheering left behind. Phil huffed in the light office, touching his fringe worriedly, and understood why they could never be his friends - much too brash and laddish for him.  
Phil looked around the room, wondering what his present was with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, but his eyes landed on it within seconds, making his stomach flip and his jaw drop. He was right to feel cautious, as this 'gift' had warning signs all over it, and a heavy, red blush burned Phil's cheeks.


	2. Off To The Races

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "God I'm so crazy, baby, I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving, I'm your little harlot, starlet" - Off To The Races

Standing opposite the door under the office lighting was a boy only a few years younger than Phil - his thick hair brown and neat, his eyes wide and alluring and his plump lips fixed in a small smirk that made Phil unable to move. This boy was beautiful and it left him breathless just to look at.  
Phil turned his attention from the pretty face and focused on the position of his 'gift': hands on hips, knee slightly bent and legs spread just enough to pull Phil's eyes to his crotch. The boy wore trousers that were black and tight enough to show off the outline of his cock pressing against the cloth, and Phil moved his eyes upward, skimming over his torso clad in a white shirt - toned and slim.  
Everything was falling into place now - of course his colleagues would have paid for a stripper, especially as they were aware of Phil's lack of significant other. He thought quickly back to the slightly blurred and tipsy nights with the guys, remembering dimly that he had confessed to being bisexual to them; it made sense that they would have been confused by which 'type' to get. Male or female.  
Phil groaned and closed, his eyes, half turning away from the stripper who was still smiling and saying nothing, and he quickly debated the best way to let the boy down. He just wasn't the kind of guy to go to strip clubs or watch people provocatively writhing - it made him blush and squirm, too embarrassed to see bare flesh and sexy eyes.  
"So you're the birthday boy. Phil." Phil looked at the stripper, feeling his face flush with heat and backing slightly towards the door. The boy didn't drop his smile or gaze, instead stepping forwards lightly and stopping in front of Phil. "No need to be shy. It's just you and me."  
"I'm sorry, I don't - this is -" Phil stuttered, flustered as the boy fluttered his eyelashes at him and smirked wider, taking Phil's hand. He cursed himself - he was the boss of an entire company, for God's sake. He shouldn't get so worked up over an overly-sexualised man.  
"Shh. Come and make yourself comfy," the stripper soothed gently, his voice so soft that Phil found himself doing as he was told, letting himself be led to the office chair waiting in the centre of the room. Phil sat down heavily, feeling himself twitch and harden when he took in the boy's outfit again: the tight suit with a low-cut white shirt, much like the outfit the men wore to work in his company. He himself was wearing a similar outfit, but it was loose and dignified, unlike the figure hugging, loose-buttoned ensemble in front of him. The boy smiled widely and swung his legs over Phil's so he sat on his lap, facing him with his hands on Phil's shoulders and his knees either side of Phil. The proximity was dizzying, and Phil found himself glancing at the stripper's eyes and becoming lost in them. They were surrounded by thin black lines of eyeliner but were such a warm shade of brown, as sweet as chocolate and possibly the rest of him.  
"My name is Dan," he purred, running his hands down the older man's torso - they were warm and steady, teasing Phil. He wanted to jerk his hips up into the younger's crotch, feeling uncomfortable in his trousers already, but held back, knowing that would be very unprofessional.  
"I don't - I've never watched a stripper," Phil blurted. He knew it was a silly thing to say but he felt it was important, even if it did make him feel a bit ridiculous. Dan must have met the men who paid for his services, and Phil wondered if he was surprised by him. However, his forwardness - sitting on Phil's lap and teasing him - made him frown slightly, like the stripper was taking full advantage of Phil's innocence.  
"It's okay, baby," Dan smiled, sliding gracefully of Phil's lap and standing in front of him, forcing Phil to look upwards at his face. "There's a first time for everything." Dan sat back a bit and took in Phil's face, then smiled wider. "Don't be so afraid, birthday boy. This is all for you. It's your present. Enjoy yourself."  
Phil nodded and settled into the chair as Dan stepped aside and bent himself over at the waist to touch the music player on the ground, his ass perfectly on display in front of Phil. It made him smirk himself, unable to help admiring the younger's pert backside, the curve of his cheeks pronounced against the tight material, and Phil found himself wondering what it would be like to run his finger down the dip in the middle. He scolded himself, for a second time reminding himself to be professional. He was a stripper, not a hooker.  
Dan glanced over as the low beats of the music began, smirking at Phil and arching his back sexily as he straightened, running his hands lightly over his ass. "Do you like what you see?"  
"Mm," Phil replied quietly, not wanting to say something stupid. Dan chuckled and tilted his head sweetly at Phil, though his eyes burned with naughtiness.  
"I'm glad," Dan said seductively, running a finger over his lower lip and placing it in his mouth coyly, sucking for a moment before his hands went to the short suit jacket, tugging at it and exposing his torso underneath but not pulling it off. "Put your hands on the arm rests and enjoy your gift, birthday boy."  
Throughout Dan's routine, Phil felt like he had died and gone to heaven - or perhaps he had toppled into hell, because he could never imagine an angel moving as sinfully as the boy in front of him did, though his pretty, innocent face and wide eyes almost had Phil believing he really was angelic. It was fascinating to watch: the way Dan teasingly pulled the jacket off; his hands constantly skimming up and down his body and lingering on appropriate areas; his hips circling and gyrating smoothly as he dipped low; his brown eyes stuck on blue, never laughing or blushing but keeping as cool and sensual as he had been since Phil walked into the room. It was like he was born to dance, his lithe body beautiful to watch, and with each piece of clothing that was taken off him - the shirt, the belt, the tight trousers which he slid down his long legs slowly with his ass on show for Phil while he looked back at him and appeared to giggle - Phil felt his blood pump faster, his body stiff from trying to keep his hands on the arm rests and away from himself or Dan.  
It was when Dan briefly clambered back on Phil, stroking him again with those warm hands and arching his back as he ground himself against the air just above Phil's crotch, nearly stopping Phil's breathing completely. He wanted to forget the no-touching rule he was certain Dan had enforced, but he was respectful - no matter how arousing the sight before him was, he would wait to be told what to do.  
He groaned quietly when he saw Dan's exposed body in the tight boxers that emphasised his cock even more than the suit trousers did, and Phil ached to take the thin cloth away to look at the boy completely bare. He wanted to kiss the soft skin on show, nibble his hips and bite at his nipples, and his breathing stuttered at the sight before him tangled with his own imagination.  
Too soon the dancing ended, his cock straining against his trousers and his throat aching with desperation to moan or to make some kind of sound: when he looked down, his knuckles were white. Dan smirked once again and switched the music off, running his eyes over Phil's body. Phil blushed again when he caught the boy's action, but he reminded himself that Dan was a professional who must have done this many times before, and he must have seen many a boner in his time. After all, a man would have to be dead to not feel turned on by Dan's gorgeous face and enticing body.  
After a moment's silence, Phil gasped, "Wow. That was amazing."  
Dan giggled and thanked him kindly, bowing his head and picking up his clothes from the floor before putting them on quickly; though Phil was still in a haze from everything he had seen, he was stirred back to reality for a moment when he saw Dan's smile drop for a few moments as he redressed. He was still incredibly good-looking of course, but it reminded Phil that Dan was still a human. As Dan buttoned up his shirt, he turned back to Phil and put the smile back on his face. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, birthday boy."  
"I did. Very much." Phil felt braver now he had seen 'human' Dan, and stood from the chair quickly, stepping beside him. "You're very talented."  
"Thank you," Dan smiled again, pulling the jacket on and fiddling with his fringe for a moment. "Happy birthday."  
"Thanks," Phil grinned. "So...um...how much was that?"  
"It's paid for, remember?" Dan said lightly, picking up the bag that had been left in the corner and putting things in it, and Phil kept his eyes away from the stripper's ass. Now that the routine had finished, he felt it would be out of order to stare hungrily at him.  
"Oh, yeah, yeah," Phil said, feeling idiotic. "Do you...need a ride home?"  
"It's all sorted. Don't worry." Dan flashed him a smile and hoisted the bag over his shoulder, putting his hand briefly on Phil's chest - over his heart - and leaning closer to kiss his cheek. "You just make the most of the rest of your night." Within seconds, Dan had left the room and closed the door behind him.  
Phil stood and blinked, still amazed that he had actually experienced all of that. Now that the room was empty again, he felt lonely, his hand rubbing at the warm spot on his chest where Dan had touched him. It was aching beneath his skin, and he felt the urge to follow the boy out the door, as all that was left of him was the lovely smell of his aftershave and the sexy music stuck in Phil's head. Phil lingered for a moment, running a hand through his hair and smiling to himself at the thought of Dan's incredible hips and seductive lips, then finally got himself moving out of the room - his cock had been teased long enough, and all he wanted now was to give it some attention.  
Though unsure of whether or not it would be a good idea, he was looking forward to pleasuring himself to the thought of Dan - it wasn't like he was going to see him again, which cast some doubt in his fantasy being a good one. Tonight was a gift, and Phil knew he was a man who didn't seek out strippers to watch. He would just have to enjoy the memory while it was still fresh in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I THINK the song goes, it goes in my mind kind of?


	3. Blue Jeans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Baby, can you see through the tears?" - Blue Jeans

Though the dancing had warmed Dan up, heat radiating from his skin, he quickly cooled when he stepped outside and briskly made his way to the bus stop. He looked back briefly at the enormous building, the outside of it mainly made of glass that made it glint like a pretty crystal when the sun was out, and shivered. He felt a bit ridiculous in his outfit - the cheap suit that hugged his figure - especially when he encountered the birthday boy. Phil was a real businessman who earned big money - even if he hadn't discovered from his friends that Phil was the boss, he could have guessed from the expensive suit he had instantly recognised as designer.

Dan tugged at his sleeves as he waited for the bus to come, wishing it would hurry; the sky was slowly turning from dark blue to black, and he wanted to be safe in his flat behind a locked door rather than wandering the streets looking like a whore.

When the bus came, Dan quickly sat himself at the front, hugging the bag to his chest tight and almost resting his chin on it, hunching in the seat and thinking of the lifestyle this Phil surely had. A huge home, masses of friends to fall back on, parties where the dancing wasn't aimed at dirty, grabbing men but instead at just having a good time. He nuzzled his bag with his cheek and nose and stared out the window, refusing to move until he got home.

Dan was grateful that he was the only one on the street outside, but he didn't let himself get too relaxed - he rushed off the bus and practically sprinted to the door of his block of flats, unlocking it with shaking hands and darting inside, rushing up the damp-smelling stairs until he got to the fifth floor where his home was waiting for him. He was aware that a couple of the men who lived nearby knew what he did for a living, and after a displeasing encounter with them he never hung around outside for too long, in fear of bumping into them again. His outfit screamed 'stripper' tonight, and he couldn't wait to get the disgusting thing off.

Once the door was locked and the bag dropped in front of it, he immediately ripped the silly cropped jacket and shirt off, scurrying through the flat to find some comfortable clothes that he could curl up in and relax, as well as scrubbing the eyeliner off. It was soothing to finally wear his pyjamas - soft and not at all revealing, loose on his skin - and he stroked them as he went to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. Though he still smelt of the aftershave he wore on his jobs, Dan was too tired to shower. He just wanted comfort and time to wind down, forgetting work and all of the other saddening things clogged in the back of his mind, waiting to taunt him.

An hour later, curled on the sofa like a cat and digging into the takeaway he ordered, his mind drifted back to Phil without realisation. He rarely remembered the names of the men he was bought for, but this name stuck in his mind like someone had glued it to his brain. It didn't take him much effort to think of his face, either: the silky black hair, bright blue eyes and sharp, strong features were memorable and almost familiar to Dan. He frowned as he thought about the man, twisting his noodles around his fork pensively before taking a big bite. In his experience with businessmen, they were confident, grabby and complimented him with a sleazy "What a sexy ass you have" or "Hot moves". Phil seemed almost horrified by the sight of him at first, and it had been hard to keep his face fixed in the smirk when Phil looked so comical.

The compliments after made Dan smile to himself, proud that he had such a kind comment from a dignified man. The smile dropped when he thought properly, raising his eyebrows at himself and sighing. He was a stripper, and the compliments were just as cheap as he was. He wasn't even the most expensive stripper, and though he had debated raising his prices, he always held back, afraid that he may lose customers if he increased his value. Money was very precious to Dan, every penny going on his flat and some put aside secretly to save.  
Dan's eyes prickled with tears threatening to spill as they always did when he thought about money. It always pushed the memories to the front, the things he was trying to forget. He put his nearly empty carton aside and hugged his legs, breathing shallowly as he felt the tears spring up.

Even if Jim forgot, he never would. Though the love was dead, he still felt betrayed and abandoned, and that hurt him badly. He could only assume Jim had moved on and found bigger things, as he had heard nothing from the man for almost two years now. Anger twisted in his stomach at the thought of the promises that had been broken - "I'll be back by next week", "We'll be rich soon", "I love you". He never came back, Dan was still barely scraping by, and that love was clearly just words.

Dan's stripping was meant to be a temporary thing. He had been young and incredibly stupid, he had been keen for something exciting, and he liked that Jim appreciated watching Dan earn them some money while giving him a little kick out of knowing his boyfriend was being watched by other guys. It felt like Dan was sentenced to a lifetime of cheapness now, as it was the only thing he knew he was skilled at that would earn him instant cash. No matter how much he tried to figure a way to climb out, he became afraid, and retreated back to the safety of his work dancing and taking his clothes off - the only thing he knew how to do well.

Dan turned up the volume of his television, loud enough that he could block his thoughts, yet quiet enough that the neighbours wouldn't come to the door and start a ruckus. Dan could stand up for himself, but he felt on the verge of tears, too vulnerable.

His head came down on the sofa arm rest, breathing slowly and watching the comedy through almost closed eyes and wishing he wasn't alone tonight. He wished he could be with someone who would take care of him and be sweet, and possibly let him rest his head on their lap. Without consciously realising, Dan wished he could be with Phil.


	4. Video Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I heard that you like the bad girls honey, is that true?" - Video Games.

It had been three days since Phil's birthday, and three long, long days since he had met Dan. He didn't understand why was thinking about the boy so much - he was a stripper, just a treat, and they had barely conversed. Phil liked his relationships to be based on self-disclosure and love, not sexy dancing and pretty eyes rimmed with eyeliner.  
He sat at his desk and swayed in the chair, raising his mug an inch and smacking it back down on the mat over and over as he thought to himself. Dan had crept into his mind at the most random moments - while he was watching television, while he was making himself some cereal, during meetings... It was becoming humiliating. He had expected to watch the show, have a wank over it an hour later and forget all about the younger man. Instead, he was becoming almost obsessive, looking around on the tube in the mornings in case Dan was in the crowd. Three days was long enough to him, so he decided that lunch to go and find George and ask him exactly who this Dan was.  
George was at his own desk during the break, on the phone with his shirt-sleeves rolled to his elbows and his free hand making notes on a pad, the scribbles messy from the speed with which he was writing. When George caught sight of Phil, he hurriedly ended the call, looking almost concerned at the sight of his boss watching him; Phil rarely spoke to people on his lunch.  
"Can I help you?" George asked politely, and Phil nearly rolled his eyes at the contrast from a few nights ago, when George had been wildly cheering and practically twisting his arm off getting him to the abandoned office where Dan was waiting for him.  
"Yes, it's a bit of a weird question..." Phil paused, feeling stupid and going pink, but he was embarrassingly desperate. "...but who was the stripper?"  
George grinned slyly, immediately relaxing when discussion turned to out-of-work experiences, and he leaned right back in his chair. "Ah, Phil, I know you enjoyed yourself, but THIS much?"  
Phil resisted the urge to snap at him, feeling awkward enough as it was, and lowered his voice in case anyone outside could hear, whispering briskly, "I'm not trying to book him again. I just want to know who he is."  
"Alright, alright!" George said, holding up his hands and still laughing to himself as he sat up in his chair; Phil wondered just how urgent he must look. "Whatever you say, boss man. No need to get defensive."  
Phil rolled his eyes, growing impatient with his colleague, but kept his tongue. He only felt defensive because he felt offended that George could think Phil only wanted to see Dan again to watch him dance and think unclean things about him, when really he just was interested in whatever Dan was hiding behind the sexiness. Phil knew he was sexually attracted to Dan - despite trying to push those desires to the back of his mind - but there was more to it. That was why Dan was stuck on his mind, popping up every so often like an attractive Jack-in-the-box.  
George finally explained, "He's with a company called Naughty Dancers, they have a club but he does private bookings."  
"Original name," Phil snorted sarcastically, cringing a bit internally at the cheap sounding title. He slid his hands in his pockets, keen to find out more. "And what about him? What is he called?"  
"Oh God, I don't know," George laughed. "It was... Jonny Something. No. Wait, let me think."  
"Dan? His name was Dan," Phil prompted, becoming restless. George shook his head again, frowning thoughtfully and hummed to himself, agitating his boss more.  
"No. It wasn't Dan, it was... Dean James," George confirmed, nodding and leaning back in his chair again. Phil frowned too, though with confusion. He hadn't heard the name Dean, he heard Dan, quite clearly. There was no mistaking the name when the boy had been in his lap and spoken so clearly to him.  
"Are you sure? He told me it was Dan," Phil questioned, pushing the backs of his fingers against the lining of his pockets. George nodded and shrugged.  
"Dean James, like James Dean. Maybe you misheard?"  
Phil nearly shook his head but shrugged, deciding it didn't matter. They were very similar names. "Maybe. Thanks, George, I'll see you around."  
"No problem, mate. Have fun finding your stripper." The sleazy wink made Phil feel annoyed but he let it pass, marching to the lift and pressing the button to his floor over and over to get to his office before the lunch break was up, desperate to look for the website and find Dean James.  
**  
Dan was on edge as he stared at the screen, his limbs tense and a pillow hugged against his chest and stomach, staring with barely a blink at the cheesy dramatic soap episode, immersed in the drama. Though he often scoffed at the poor acting and the ridiculous drama, Dan enjoyed the programmes, feeling less alone when he had the television on and imagined himself being involved with the situations on screen. In this episode, Kylie had just left Craig, but after discovering she was pregnant, Craig had rushed to the airport only to have his heart broken watching the plane fly away, and now both characters were crying in their respective scenes. Dan was slightly irked when the immersion was broken by his phone beeping, pulling a face when he glanced at it and saw work had texted him with the details of a new job. He opened the message, scrolling through the paragraph his boss sent with curiosity.

'U've bin prsnally rqstd by a bloke at levram aprtmnt 52 2moro at 7pm, hes offerin £500'

Dan sat against the back of the sofa in shock, the pillow slipping down his legs and onto his feet. The company usually took some of the money the clients paid, but he knew that even if some was kept, he would still have a fair amount. Quickly, before the boss could change his mind, he hurriedly replied with trembling fingers.

'ill do it did he have any requests'

Dan was curious that he had been specifically chosen by this client rather than the usual method of being sent any available stripper with the right skill set for their requests. He nearly bounced on his seat in excitement when he thought of all the bills he could pay and the money he could put aside in his secret Future Fund. Maybe he could even take some of the spare cash out and buy himself something nice as a treat.

'No. He jst wants u.'

Dan couldn't resist feeling flattered, though relieved that he didn't have to dress up as a ridiculous sailor or wear any other cheap costume. He could wear simple but nice clothes, and take the night from there. He quickly added a reminder into his phone's calendar and crossed his legs happily, smiling at the television even though the actors were still sobbing.  
**  
Phil was nervous, though he wasn't sure why. If Dean James /was/ Dan, then he would be thrilled. He'd try and talk to him, and see if he could figure out exactly why this boy was on his mind. If Dean James /wasn't/ Dan... he'd either end up feeling bad for sending him away or awkward for letting him carry out his stripping duties.  
Phil paid a lot of money to ensure his request went through but the money didn't matter. His business had him raking in thousands, and it was nice to spend some of the cash on something that wasn't just toys to pass the time for a while or spending far too much on food and snacks. In fact, he didn't often spend his time looking for someone, and it made a change - a mission, a distracting task.  
He paced around for a while, putting his chairs under the breakfast bar neatly and refolding the tea towel hanging over the oven handle, then soon enough, the doorbell rang. His heart jumping, he rushed to the door with a silent prayer that his cock behaved tonight - he didn't want sexual urges to distract him. Phil opened the door quickly, nearly smacking himself in the face with it, and his eyes widened.  
Dean James' eyes widened too. "Phil!"  
"You remembered my name!" Phil was amazed by this fact, and stunned that Dean James - Dan - whatever his name was - was just as beautiful and alluring as he remembered.  
"You ordered me?" Dean/Dan asked seductively, leaning against the door frame and slipping into work mode. Phil frowned, ignoring the pose (though he felt a twitch between his legs).  
"You told me your name was Dan," Phil commented immediately. Dean/Dan looked surprised, blinking a bit but wetting his lips and trying to keep himself sexy.  
"I did, didn't I, baby?" he said huskily, leaning off the wall and pointedly looking around Phil's body to the apartment inside. "Does it matter? Either way you get a show tonight."  
"Hmm, it matters a bit. What do I call you?" Phil questioned, stepping aside and letting Dean/Dan enter the room, noticing the younger's eyes widen at the spacious apartment and expensive decor.  
"Anything you like," Dean/Dan shrugged, spinning around lightly with his hands clasped behind his back and waiting. "Where can I put my jacket?"  
"What's your real name?" Phil held out his hand and took Dean/Dan's jacket from him, not caring that he was being a bit pushy, even when the stripper frowned a bit.  
"Dan," he said finally, his tone slipping out of character. Phil smiled and closed the door, hanging the jacket up on his old-fashioned coat stand he had bought from an auction a few years ago when he was bored and wanted to see what auctions were like.  
"Can I get you anything? A drink?" Phil offered, tilting his head and trying to be a good host. Dan frowned, confused by the offers, and shook his head.  
"No, thank you," he replied uncertainly, and Phil realised what he was doing wasn't normal. He didn't think it was normal to order a stripper and try to converse with them.  
"Sorry, would you feel more comfortable just stripping?" he blurted, then immediately backtracked when he saw the surprise on Dan's face. "Sorry, it's just - I didn't book you for a strip."  
Dan pulled a face and seemed to try and gather himself, saying breezily, "I think you might have made a mistake. I'm not a prostitute."  
Phil was alarmed. "No! That's not what I was suggesting! I'm sorry." He exhaled and rubbed at his face, becoming flustered, and Dan's small smile made him feel more hot under the collar. "I just thought I'd...ask how you are and such."  
It was quiet for a moment as Dan took in his words, and Phil nervously picked at his thumb, asking himself why he was such an idiot.  
"You...don't want me to strip for you?" Dan checked slowly, as if he didn't quite believe the words, and Phil noticed the boy was both confused and somewhat uncomfortable. "What do you want from me then?"  
"I'm sorry. You can go if you want," Phil said, heart sinking. He couldn't put either of them through any more awkwardness, and he reached for his wallet, counting the money, so flustered that he gathered the full amount in notes rather than arranging a better price. "I'll still pay you for your time, you can have all of it. I just wanted to see you again and work something out."  
"Work something out? Like what?" Dan tilted his head, his light voice still with a tone of allure, as if trying to get the information out of Phil with charm. It worked.  
"Why you're still on my mind," Phil said flatly, holding the money out to Dan. They stared at one another, brown meeting blue, and Dan ignored the money, though his eyes darted to it a few times.  
"I'm a stripper. I'm attractive. You'll remember me for a while," Dan replied carefully. Phil shook his head, immediately dismissing the idea.  
"I don't think that's it. There's something else." He said it firmly, watching Dan take a deep breath and exhale again silently, their eyes not straying from one another's. When the silence continued, Phil shook the notes in his hand at Dan. "Please. Take the money."  
Despite his protests, Dan found himself with a hand full of money and quickly placed it in his pocket, folding his arms and leaning on one hip cheekily. "What do you want me to do then?"  
Phil was pleased that Dan hadn't just taken the money and left, instead giving him a chance. "I don't know. Erm..." He looked around the apartment, spotting his television in the living room section of the open space. "Video game?"  
"You want to play a game with me?" Dan was still confused, Phil could tell.  
"If you want to. Dan." He said the name again gently, testing it on his tongue. It felt right. Dan glanced back to the television and then to Phil, clearly thinking. Phil waited worriedly, hoping the boy would say yes. When Dan nodded mutely and uncrossed his arms, rubbing them awkwardly on his jeans and over the wad of cash, Phil grinned. "Great. Pick a game, pick a console."  
They made their way over to the television and Dan smiled nervously, biting his lip at Phil and seemingly testing the elder's intentions a final time. "You know I could still strip for you, baby. If you want me to."  
Phil shrugged and got on his knees, pulling out the games that didn't fit on the shelves either side of the tv, and scattered them on the ground. "It's fine. You're just as beautiful when you're not taking your clothes off, so I'm not missing out right now."  
**  
Dan sat beside Phil on the sofa, stunned by the words of his client. He hadn't prepared himself for respect and a lovely comment that wasn't sexually charged; he had expected to take his clothes off and put on a show for some guy. He wriggled happily and smiled to himself when he was over the shock of the sweet words, almost tearful at the rare kindness. The money wasn't the best part of this simple job of just keeping Phil company. It was Phil himself, who made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, like a ball of sunshine had settled in his tummy, and he turned his attention to the game before he could allow himself to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Dean James (James Dean) are nods to some of the men referenced in Lana's songs. Plus I think Dean James sounds like Dan James, so that was a happy coincidence.


	5. Diet Mountain Dew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You're no good for me, but baby I want you, I want you" - Diet Mountain Dew

Dan slipped his jacket on, touching his pocket a final time to check the money was still resting against his thigh, and turned to Phil, who was smiling pleasantly at him. In that moment, when he saw the elder's lips curve, he wanted to stay with him. He'd had so much fun - more fun than he'd had for a while - sitting and playing video games, cautiously asking Phil about his job. It was interesting to hear of his business achievements despite being such a down-to-earth and sweet guy, yet Dan still felt discomfort at being in the presence of such a high earner.  
Phil had asked his own questions about Dan's job, which Dan gave simple responses too. All he gave away was he enjoyed stripping for the main part and had been doing it for a few years now. Luckily, the game on television was so distracting that the conversation remained shallow and impersonal enough for Dan to keep reminding himself that tonight was a business exchange - though he kept his clothes on, his company was still paid for. The restlessness in his body was another reminder to this - he had stretched at home before coming to the apartment to limber up for his routine, leaving him feeling like the energy in his muscles were unused.  
"Will you be alright getting home, or do you need to be dropped off?" Phil asked, reminding Dan of when he offered to take him home the night they met. It made Dan feel comforted and safe, though he forced himself to be guarded. Phil was still a stranger really.  
"I'll be fine," Dan smiled, taking a deep breath and making his feet take him outside the front door before he got too attached. "Thank you for tonight. It was a nice surprise."  
"That's no problem. At least let me call you a taxi," Phil pressed, grabbing his mobile from his pocket, but Dan shook his head. This man had done more than enough tonight. Not only had he given him a lot of cash, but he'd also given him delightful company and a much more positive mood.  
"Don't worry, I'll be fine," Dan repeated, ignoring the niggling nerves at the back of his mind when he thought of the dark and scary journey by bus. He began to walk away slowly, lingering in the hallway and waving awkwardly. "I'll...see you."  
"Can I see you again?" Phil suddenly questioned, surprising Dan. He paused, staring at Phil who stood in the doorway surrounded by the light from with in like an angel, and desperately wanted to say yes please. However, he had to remain professional. It wasn't like it was some kind of date.  
"You can book me anytime, baby," Dan replied smoothly, dropping his voice, and he noticed Phil's cheeks turn pink, pleased he could excite the man. Whenever he remembered that this sweet guy had been hard because of him a few days ago, it made Dan feel proud and squirmy inside, unlike he did when he turned on any other client. There was something more appealing about Phil because of his lovely personality, and that made Dan feel more attracted to him - even though he shouldn't have any kind of unprofessional feelings towards him.  
"I don't mean that," Phil said firmly, and it disappointed Dan a bit. As much as he loved Phil's company, just talking like normal people do, he had enjoyed stripping for Phil and pleasing the man. "I thought we could go out somewhere properly and talk. We didn't get to say much while we were playing Halo."  
Dan sucked in a breath. There had been a few rare times when the clients would ask him out on a date but with lewd intentions, and he could see it in their hungry, dark eyes. But when he looked at Phil, he only saw genuine interest, like Phil actually wanted to know more about him. It was unexpected, as Dan had always assumed that out of work he wasn't at all interesting.  
"I...I don't know," Dan said slowly, unsure what to do. His heart wanted to desperately say yes and see Phil again properly, but his head screamed no, warning him of the possible dangers and reminding him he shouldn't trust anyone, especially those that had a financial link to him.  
"Please. Just once. I'll pay you for your time if work is a barrier?" Phil pleaded quietly, and Dan was flattered at the lengths this man would go to be with him. Ignoring his head, he finally nodded, the thought of a date with Phil too wonderful to pass up.  
"I'd love to see you. But I don't want you to pay for my time," he added quickly. In case Phil assumed Dan was only agreeing for money, he quickly continued, "I'd really like to see you again."  
"Great. I'll get my number and we can -" Phil mimed texting and Dan giggled, pulling his mobile out of his other pocket and feeling excited. It had been a long time since he last went on a date, or even spent company with someone properly without the focus being on work. Phil returned and they swapped numbers, standing too close to one another so Dan could feel Phil's body heat on his skin and hear his breathing. It made Dan's own breathing stumble.  
"There. I'll text you with the details when I'm free," Phil informed, smiling pleasantly. Dan nodded, uncertain of how to respond - where he excelled at dirty talk, he struggled with ordinary romantic interaction. It had been too long.  
"Thank you, Phil," he replied lightly and finally walked away, going to the building's lift and watching Phil watch him go; as soon as the lift shut, he leant against the back wall and grined, his stomach fluttering with an excitement he thought he'd never feel again.  
**  
As soon as the waiter parted from the two men, Phil leant forwards, smiling around the candle. "You look lovely tonight."  
Dan smiled back shyly, thanking Phil in a mutter and looking down at the menu to hide his rosy cheeks. Phil ignored his own menu for a minute, taken by the beautiful boy in front of him. The low lighting of the restaurant seemed to soften his features, making him look prettier than ever. Dan's suit was not the cheap stripper outfit he wore on Phil's birthday but a simple cut and comfortable looking proper one, though it continuously reminded Phil of the dancing, exciting him. He was amazed at how Dan looked so right in this setting - he looked suited to the rich red, expensive restauraunt, surrounded by gentle candlelight and low-talking diners. However the way Dan's eyes flickered over the complicated food names and the way he shifted in his seat reminded Phil that though Dan looked the part, he had most likely never been to a place like this. It made Phil more determined to treat the boy and give him a good time.  
"See anything you like?" he asked helpfully, wondering if Dan needed assistance with choosing, but Dan just looked up at Phil and locked eyes with him, his tongue running over his lips thoughtlessly.  
"Kind of," he replied wryly, and Phil blushed when Dan smirked, taking a long gulp of wine. He was lucky that he had his driver to pick them up later, as he wasn't sure how much he was going to have to drink. Surprisingly, Dan only ordered a juice with no alcohol, and Phil suspected Dan wanted to keep his wits about him instead of leaving himself vulnerable to being taken advantage of. It made Phil worry for him, but he reminded himself Dan would be safe with him on this date.  
He felt so many emotions - delight at being in Dan's company, nervous that he was finally going on a date after five long years, and very slightly aroused by the beautiful boy. He took another sip for courage and decided to strike conversation with him.  
"How has work been?" Phil asked politely, smiling warmly to let Dan know Phil didn't judge him for his job, and he had genuine interest. Dan put the menu down but kept his hands on it, as if tensely waiting to hide his face behind it.  
"It was the usual," he shrugged.  
"And what's the usual like?" Phil pressed, curious.  
"About four to five nights a week I get work, sometimes twice in a night," Dan explained briefly, hesitant to reveal to much. When Phil just watched him, waiting for more information, Dan took a breath and continued shortly. "Most of the time I perform at group parties - stags, birthdays and such. I only get a few private bookings. Mainly men. In fact, only men. There's not too many gay strippers around at the company."  
"Do you ever get naked?" Phil blurted, then clasped his hand to his mouth. He didn't mean to ask such a personal question but it just came to mind and slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He lowered his hand and apologised in horror, bright red and hating the half-empty wine glass sitting beside him. "Oh, my God, I am /so/ sorry! I wasn't thinking or - I'm sorry!"  
Dan was laughing, loud enough that surrounding diners glanced over, and he covered his mouth quickly, shoulders shaking. "It's fine," he choked, relaxing Phil slightly, though the blush didn't leave his cheeks. "Sorry, you just looked so funny. No, I don't get naked, Phil." Dan spluttered again and pressed his napkin to his eyes, amused by Phil's expressions again.  
"Sorry," Phil repeated, cringing again at his question - he hoped he hadn't sounded like he was implying something. Quickly he changed the subject. "I heard there was a club, do you ever work there?"  
Dan wrinkled his nose. "Not really. I used to when I first started out but some...things happened and I didn't want to spend much time there. I work there if there's no one else available though." When catching Phil's concerned expression, he quickly added, "It was nothing serious that happened, it was just..." Dan trailed off and Phil picked up on the younger's unwillingness to continue the subject immediately.  
"Alright." Phil swirled the wine around in his glass, trying hurriedly to think of another question. "Do you like your work?"  
There was a longer pause, Dan frowning as he thought seriously about his answer. Phil took the opportunity to admire Dan again, with his thoughtful, lovely eyes and perfect lips. Beautiful. He wanted to tell Dan he was beautiful, but he didn't know whether or not the time was right.  
"I think I do. Yeah. I do." Dan smiled to himself as he thought, and Phil couldn't resist smiling back at him. "It's fun, to dance and play games with people. Practice new routines. It's just a bit...embarrassing sometimes."  
"Like when?" Phil sat forward in his chair. He guessed stripping could be humiliating sometimes, which made him uncomfortable to imagine Dan feeling that way.  
"Sometimes I like the stares and attention, but sometimes it's too much. I forget I'm a person, not a decorative object. And it can feel cheap, y'know? Making just enough to get by whilst putting most of myself on show." Dan sucked in a breath and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I'll stop talking."  
"No, don't," Phil said quickly. Dan looked uncomfortable, and he didn't want to make him dislike the date. He was still interested in Dan and his work but he knew there were some sore spots he needed to avoid. "It's okay. But we don't have to talk about that anymore. We can talk about other things."  
"Like what?" Dan smiled, making Phil feel relief.  
"You were pretty kick-ass at Halo," Phil commented, raising his eyebrows. He grinned back, and asked, "What other video games do you play?"  
**  
Dan had always had the automatic assumption that he would never share anything in common with people richer than him. Tonight, as he and Phil had dined on some costly fish, he was pleased to know that the two of them had a lot in common. Their music tastes, their love for anime, their appreciation for the same kind of music... With each time they discovered they both shared similarities, Dan felt his smile grow wider and his heart pump quicker, thrilled that he could get along with such a wonderful man and money wouldn't get in the way.  
He had felt out of his depth in the suit and fancy restaurant, being driven around by Phil's personal driver, but Phil was anything but materialistic. Phil was sweet and generous and Dan didn't want to go home yet. He wanted to be with Phil all night, staring at his pretty blue eyes and feeling his heart flutter when the handsome smile stretched across his date's face.  
They walked outside in the dark street, empty aside from the pair of them as if they were the only two in the world and lit up by the lampposts, taking in the cool air that slipped under their suits after the almost sickly warmth of the restaurant. They traipsed for a few minutes to keep warm just outside the building, waiting for Phil's driver to pick them up, and Dan found himself spinning around freely, head tipped back to look at the stars as they whirled around above his head.  
"You seem happy," Phil commented, and Dan looked over at Phil who was steadily following, hands in his pockets and smiling fondly. Dan grinned, knowing his cheeks were pink with glee but not caring, wishing he could scream to the world that he was so happy.  
"I am. I enjoyed tonight, thank you, it was so new to me," he said, spinning again and feeling as if he was drunk on joy. When he was in Phil's company, the metaphorical empty space inside him felt full and warm, as if he was on the way to feeling complete - and he had only spent three nights with Phil.  
"I'm glad," Phil said, and the pair of them stopped at the end of the street, pausing on the corner and staring at one another. It was cool out but the air felt hot between them, something electric zipping through Dan's blood when he looked at Phil's eyes. He wanted Phil. He wanted to feel his sweet-talking lips on his neck and feel his pale, strong hands run up his sides. He wanted him to look after him in more ways than the innocent. As if reading Dan's mind, Phil muttered quietly, "Tonight doesn't have to end, you know."  
Dan felt shaky as he stepped closer to Phil, their lips brushing, but neither of them kissed. Their bodies barely bumped but the electricity between them felt intense, intoxicating. "What do you suggest?" Dan breathed, itching to touch Phil. He jumped when he felt hands go on his hips and fought a groan when Phil kissed the corner of his mouth, up his cheek and to his ear.  
"I want you to come home with me," he whispered, and Dan shivered, moaning when Phil peppered kisses down his jaw and onto his sensitive neck, making Dan squeal and wrap his arms around the elder.  
"I want that, baby," Dan whimpered, tipping his head back as Phil kissed his throat wetly, feeling his lips trail back up to his mouth. "I want /you/."  
Phil growled and kissed Dan hard, his lips moving firmly and passionately against the younger's, and Dan's eyes closed, bumping his crotch against Phil's. He didn't expect Phil to make such a sound, or to grab at his ass firmly. Phil was loving and kind and respectful, but the sudden desperate kissing and decisive actions turned Dan on completely.  
They kissed roughly, Phil constantly keeping the control and Dan willingly moaning into his mouth, enjoying having this man touch him and hold him. He wanted Phil's marks all over his skin, so his clients could see that he belonged to someone. Someone who treated him right.  
The car arrived and Phil pulled away, his blue eyes a darker shade as the desire began to surface; Dan felt a bit nervous as he clambered into the car and immediately felt Phil's lips on his as soon as they both settled in the back seat, but he knew he was safe. He knew Phil was a sweetheart, nothing like the other guys he met. Dan let himself be kissed and relaxed, wrapping his arms around Phil and tilting his head, kissing back with as much force as the other and squirming happily when Phil's hands stroked slowly up and down his thigh. Dan had waited long enough to be touched by another person again, and he couldn't ask for a better man to give himself to other than Phil.


	6. National Anthem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I sing the National Anthem, while I'm standing over your body hold you like a python, and you can't keep your hands off me, or your pants on" - National Anthem.

Their lips parted long enough for Phil to tug Dan through his apartment to the bedroom, wasting no time. It was so very sudden, making Dan's heart pound in his chest, but he didn't want to stop. The only thing on his mind was Phil, and after the first passionate kiss, all he had on his mind was letting Phil take him, claim him. He wanted to touch Phil as well and make him feel good, to leave his own mark on the elder. In the heat of the moment, all he could think about was how much he wanted Phil to be his, and for himself to be Phil's.  
Dan tried to make himself stop for a moment as lips met his once again, to convince himself to take things slowly with this sort-of stranger. A loud part of his brain continuously reminded him that Phil was to be trusted, and Phil would make Dan feel good. There were no danger signs here - just Dan's wariness built up over the years, nothing to do with mistrust or fear.  
Phil did stop however when they stood by the bed and pulled their lips away, asking firmly, "Are you sure you want this? We don't have to."  
"Please," Dan whispered immediately, his fingers going to Phils buttons and shakily undoing them. "I want this, I want you."  
Phil groaned as Dan kissed him once again, baring Phil's torso and running his fingers up and down his chest and stomach. He knew his hands were cold and smirked when Phil shivered, biting at the elder's lower lip and humming happily. When Phil reached out to assist Dan in removing his clothes, Dan took his wrists and stepped back, grinning when he saw the irritated expression.  
"I want /your/ clothes off first," Dan insisted, reaching out and tugging Phil's suit jacket off along with the shirt, leaving him topless. He admired his body, slipping his fingers over the pale stomach and soft hips, skimming his fingers teasingly along the waistband of the trousers. Dropping his voice to that same, confident tone he used when doing his jobs, he grinned, "Then I want you to watch me get naked."  
Phil looked almost angry with his desperation, and it made Dan shiver. He wanted the dignified man to tear Dan's clothes off and fuck him on the bed roughly, but he guessed that, if they arranged more dates, there would be plenty of time for that kind of thing. Phil undid his belt quickly, shoving his trousers down and hooking his thumbs into his boxers before looking back to Dan. He was frowning, impatient, clearly as desperate as Dan felt, but he still checked to see if this was what Dan wanted, and it warmed his heart. He wanted to hug Phil for that, but was immediately distracted by the hard cock straining against Phil's boxers, licking his lips.  
"Go ahead," he murmured, and Phil pushed the clothing all the way down; Dan gasped at the beauty of Phil naked, his lightly toned pale body and glorious member. Dan ached to touch him, to get on his knees and take Phil's length in his mouth, but he tried to be patient. First, he had to get naked himself.  
"Aren't you taking your clothes off yet?" Phil asked, his hand mindlessly wandering to his cock and stroking lightly, and Dan nodded coyly, meeting Phil's eyes and putting himself back into stripper mode. It was so much more fun to act that way with Phil, who had already wined and dined him, and he wanted to impress his date. With the other men, it was just a money-centered goal to give them a good show and get them excited. Right now, he wanted to please Phil because he knew that it would make himself happy.  
"Sit back on the bed and I'll take them off," Dan teased, undoing his belt slowly and dragging it through the loops, keeping his eyes on Phil sexily. Phil got on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, and stared at Dan, looking him up and down and making the boy shiver. He looked so hot stroking himself, bare for him. Dan giggled and commented, "You look so good," placing the belt between his teeth and biting, swaying his hips as if music were playing and he was lightly dancing. Phil moaned, his head rolling back momentarily, not taking his eyes away from Dan.  
"You look better. You're so beautiful," Phil said, his tone meaningful and making Dan smile before tossing the belt aside and beginning to slowly unbutton his shirt.  
"Don't be silly, baby, I haven't taken anything off yet," he dismissed with a smirk, but Phil shook his head, steadying his hand before he got himself off too quickly.  
"You always do," he insisted, and Dan flushed happily at the comment. He couldn't deny the honest way Phil said the words, and he finally finished undoing all of the buttons, sliding his shirt off slowly and exposing his bare, smooth shoulders once he finished took the jacket off, loving how Phil was swallowing hard and fixating his eyes on the flesh.  
"You're too sweet," Dan replied huskily, letting the shirt slide off his arms and flop to the floor, running his hands up and down his torso lightly and tickling himself. The action alone of caressing himself made him feel aroused, but knowing Phil was watching him while he did so made him harden. His hands went to his trouser buttons, undoing them with skilful ease, and just as his fingers rested on the waistband, Phil suddenly asked, "Can you take them off like you did last time?"  
Dan tilted his head inquisitively and noticed Phil blush; he continued, "It was so hot, you taking your trousers off like that."  
Dan smiled and turned around so his back was to Phil, feeling tingles in the pit of his stomach; he liked that Phil had asked him to do something, as he wanted to please the man. Hooking his thumbs into both his trousers and boxers, he slowly pushed them down, bending down as he did so his hands ended up around his ankles with the clothes and his ass was on complete show for his audience of one. Unlike with his other clients, he was completely naked, and blushed at the thought of Phil staring at his exposed body. He hadn't been completely bare in front of anyone for a few years now, and though he wanted to be naked for Phil, he still felt shy and awkward, almost on the verge of tears.  
He remained in role, lips turning up again when he heard Phil moan and mutter, "Fuck," the sound of Phil stroking himself making his own length strain. Dan turned and stood at the very end of the bed, trailing his fingers up his thighs and to his hips, wondering what it would feel like if Phil touched him the same way.  
"Fuck, you're perfect," Phil moaned, looking Dan up and down and staring at his cock for a moment before back to his eyes. "Come over here, lovely."  
Dan placed his palms on the bed and crawled slowly up to Phil like he would do on stage, smirking sexily at the older man and brushing his wrists against his legs as he settled between them, leaning forwards to kiss him. Phil's hand went to Dan's cheek when their lips met, stroking gently and making Dan relax, before pulling away to ask, "Are you okay?"  
Dan nodded, certain that he didn't need to explain to Phil that he felt vulnerable as he was sure it was creeping through onto his face, swallowing and whispering, "Are you?"  
"Very much," Phil replied, staring at Dan's face and tracing over his cheeks, nose and lips, memorising every detail. It made Dan feel comforted and safe to feel the gentle touch. "What do you want me to do to you?"  
Dan felt his cock twitch at the words, holding back from moaning loudly, and put his hands on Phil's thighs, stroking up the soft skin in the same teasing way he had done to himself. He ran his fingetip over Phil's balls, enjoying the way he whimpered and dug his nails into Dan's hips. "I want you to fuck me. If that's okay?"  
Phil smirked and shakily stroked Dan's cheek a final time, trembling with anticipation. "Of course it's okay. Would you prefer to ride me?"  
Once again the words in Phil's deep, sexy voice aroused Dan, making him whine and grab at his cock eagerly, nodding quickly. He clambered onto Phil's lap properly with his legs spread either side of the man beneath him, making Phil laugh and kiss his shoulder. "Steady on, I need to get the lube first!"  
Dan could feel the tip of Phil's cock brush against him as he leaned to the bedside table and rummaged in the drawer, squirming when Dan traced a finger down his neck. Dan bent to kiss the spot he touched, pressing his lips over and over the warm skin, then leant back when Phil straightened, staring at the lube in Phil's hand and groaning softly. Phil unscrewed the lube lid and coated his fingers, nudging Dan's legs further apart and saying, "Let me stretch you."  
**  
Phil was enjoying having the weight of Dan on top of him, their cocks brushing together and Dan's hands still tracing patterns on his skin. It had been far too long since he had last had sex, and sharing this moment with Dan felt perfect. With one hand he spread the boy's cheeks apart, marvelling at the pertness of his soft backside, then ran his fingers teasingly over Dan's hole, loving the way it made Dan squirm.  
"Phil," Dan whined desperately, bucking his hips slightly. "Please."  
Phil didn't listen for a moment, wanting to tease the boy some more - Dan had done the same to him long enough with his stripper eyes and bed crawling. It drove him wild to see Dan with his legs spread either side of his body, arching his back like he would have done whilst exotically dancing. He kissed Dan's shoulder and stuck the tip of his finger inside him, slowly inching in bit by bit. Dan was tight, and already he was moaning and stiffening his legs to not buck and rush the moment. Phil kept his lips working on Dan's shoulder and collarbones, hoping it would be a distraction in case the feelings became uncomfortable.  
"Please, Phil, give me more," Dan pleaded, and Phil couldn't resist, groaning and sliding his finger inside the boy quickly. Dan moaned, breath stuttering, and arched his back, throat exposed for Phil to peck and his eyes closing.  
"Does it feel good?" Phil checked huskily, pumping his finger in and out and feeling Dan twitch against his stomach.  
"Mmhmm, I want more," he mumbled, rocking his hips up and down. Phil was stunned at Dan's desperation, amazed that he was so turned on and wanted to be stretched, but he supposed after years of being single and constantly getting himself naked and aroused he just wanted to be fucked now the chance had arrived. Phil kept his lips kissing Dan's neck and added another finger, slowing down the movements but curling them both.  
"Then you'll get more," Phil murmured. He enjoyed the whole situation of giving Dan what he wanted. Dan was always performing for clients, following their orders and working with their tastes, and now Phil felt it was right to grant Dan's wishes this time. Dan moaned and arched his back, bucking against Phil fingers and holding him tighter, his hands gripping almost painfully into Phil's skin. This continued for a while until Dan batted at Phil's chest, shaking his head.  
"Getting close." He tugged weakly at Phil's arm. "Need your cock."  
Phil enjoyed the way he wanted him and kissed Dan's neck again, loving the way it made Dan squirm; the boy was breathless, panting, and his skin was covered in a pink flush, his cock angrily red and aching. "One moment, baby."  
Dan moaned and ground his cock against Phil's in appreciation of the name, and Phil hurried to lube his cock, stroking himself quickly and moaning quietly to enter Dan as comfortably as he could. Lube aside, he put his hands on Dan's hips; the younger had gathered himself and was now smiling at Phil naughtily, taking his cock into his hand and lining it up.  
"You're so big," he cooed, squeezing and stroking, making Phil roll his hips upwards. "I can't wait for you to be inside me."  
"Come on then, you tease," Phil said, watching as Dan lowered himself onto Phil's member. Dan's head tipped back, face contorted at the stretch, but he seemed ecstatic, legs quivering. Phil fought the haze of pleasure that covered his brain and blurred his vision and grabbed Dan's cock between them, pumping it briskly to heighten Dan's enjoyment. Dan yelped and sank down by mistake, digging his nails into Phil's shoulders in shock and grunted, closing his eyes and breathing.  
"Okay, Dan?" Phil checked, stroking Dan's backside soothingly, and Dan nodded, opening watering eyes wide.  
"Yeah. Shocked me," he laughed shakily, then ground his hips before Phil could say anything else. Phil's eyes rolled back as Dan wiggled on his lap, stretching him further. Phil was loving how tight the younger was, each movement sending waves of golden pleasure washing over him and nearly making him dizzy.  
"Fuck," Dan moaned loudly, grinding himself firmly and keeping his eyes on Phil's, smirking. He knew exactly what he was doing, that he was driving Phil crazy, and Phil wanted to get him back for that. Smirking back at the brunette, he began wanking him suddenly and quickly, watching Dan's face contort as a noisy moan left his lips and filled the room. "Phil!"  
"I can make you feel good too," Phil growled, jerking his hand rhymthically, and Dan nodded, leaning back and raising his hips before lowering them again, his own eyes delirious.  
"Yes, yes, you can," he panted in response, raising and lowering a few times. He was using Phil's body like the poles and chairs he ground against, demonstrating his fluid movements and sensual body as he bounced seductively on the elder's lap. Phil leant back as far as he could, keeping his hand stroking Dan but enjoying the little show Dan was putting on. As much as he'd love to see him swirl against a pole or hump the floor during his dances this was so much better - naked, sweaty and all for him. He thrust his hips upward sharply and Dan yelped, his movements paused at the feeling, and Phil smirked, taking a tight hold of Dan's hips. Dan's eyes widened when he knew what was coming and spread his legs wider, yearning.  
"This is where I fuck you," Phil pointed out with a grin, thrusting his hips up again sharply, doing it over and over and holding Dan tighter, moving his hips and down in time. Dan seemed to enjoy the way Phil took control, his breathing quick and heavy; Phil hadn't expected Dan to be so vocal, his moans echoing through the empty apartment and making Phil worry that someone would knock on the door and complain - though he couldn't give a fuck. The beautiful boy was tight and on top of him, his gorgeous face in complete pleasure, and he didn't want it to end.  
Phil's hand soon got Dan to the edge, however, the sensations of his cock and palm too much for the poor boy to handle, and he screamed into Phil's broad shoulder, hips juddering and cum spurting. Phil held Dan tighter, rocking him slightly as he came himself, grunting and filling Dan with his own cum. He panicked for a moment, wondering if Dan minded that there was no condom involved, but he knew himself that his sexual health was clean.  
His heart continued to pound as he came down from the high, pulling limp Dan closer to his body and holding him tight. It had been incredible, powerful, and he loved every second from start to finish, glad that he took the time to look for the stripper. As he rubbed Dan's back, waiting for his breathing to slow, he knew it would be hard to release him from his arms. Dan was the kind of boy he could find himself falling in love with - even without the sex - and the thought was like swimming in wonderful, warm blue water with the sun beating as sharks glared and circled from beneath the surface: perfect but threatened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was really crap sex, omg, sorry it's so short and boring; it felt like it was longer because it took me so bloody long to write.  
> These chapters are feeling more underwhelming than they were in my head, oops. Also, I keep repeating their names a lot to try and not mix up the pronouns, sorry.


	7. Dark Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side" - Dark Paradise.

It had been a wonderful night, lying blissfully in Phil's arms and their naked bodies twined, yet Dan had woken from his slumber with worry on his mind. Somehow, his cautiousness had seeped into his dreams and he forced himself to confront his thoughts while Phil slept soundly behind him in the early hours, the sky still black outside.  
Dan had jolted awake, a frown on his face, and he pulled himself out of Phil's clutches slightly, going over everything that had happened in the past week or so. The day he stripped for Phil, he didn't expect to take their relationship any further. The man had stuck in his mind after, even creeping into his dreams at night, but he didn't expect to see him again out of work.  
If Dan was smart, he'd avoid Phil at all costs. Phil had paid for his services twice - the last time money had been involved in his relationship, he was left abandoned and stuck in a disreputable job and he had spent months trying to erase the love he had from his first boyfriend from his heart. It had been difficult, but he had just about managed to leave Jim behind. He didn't think he could do it again; if Phil decided to discard him, and forget all about the worthless stripper, it would be much harder to put everything behind him. Phil had been the first person in a long time to show him affection and, perhaps, love. If Phil let him go, Dan knew it would break him - it would hurt just too much, especially as Phil was a kind giver rather than a selfish taker like Jim was.  
Dan felt his face crumple but quickly looked at the sleeping man beside him, his chest aching. Last night had been wonderful, being touched and kissed and held. The date itself had made him so happy, and he desperately wished he could put himself back into the joyful state he was in yesterday when they had talked and laughed and stared into each other's eyes, as real partners would. Dan wanted to run his fingers down Phil's nose, caress his lips and kiss his cheeks until the man woke up, but he just couldn't do it. He couldn't let himself fall for Phil.  
Dan slowly slid out of bed, silent and careful to pick up his clothes without sobbing, though he couldn't help the sniffing as his tears came to his eyes and began to drip. Once he was dressed in his crumpled suit and had combed his hair with his fingers as best as he could manage, he took one last look at Phil, who was still snoozing contentedly with a slight smile on his face. It made a lump press uncomfortably in Dan's throat, and he wanted to run back into bed and snuggle up to Phil again, putting all of his fears aside for him. However he shook himself, annoyed at his own mind and feelings. He hadn't known Phil for long at all. He still had the potential to hurt him, to be a cruel man. Dan shouldn't feel so attached to a man he hadn't even known for a month.  
Dan rushed from the room quickly, taking one final glance around at the huge, lush apartment before he unlocked the door hurriedly and pushed the door key through the letter box once he had locked it again from outside. His cheeks were very warm and he still felt sensitive as he practically sprinted to the lift in case Phil had woken and was following him. Dan only let himself cry once the lift door had shut behind him, just for a moment, releasing some of the heartache before he pulled himself together and called a taxi, waiting to get home to sob properly in the way he wanted to.  
**  
The beep of Phil's phone woke him quickly, stirring him from a deep, satisfying sleep, and the first thing on his mind was Dan, reaching out with both hands to find the boy beside him as he fought to open his eyes. To his dismay, Dan was not lying beside him. It made Phil awaken immediately and he sat straight up, the sheets slipping off his body and almost exposing him. He didn't care though and jumped out of bed, walking naked to his en suite and opening the door. Dan wasn't there.  
Phil rushed about his home, calling Dan's name quietly, but the apartment was empty apart from himself. When he caught the clock in his kitchen in the gloom, he noticed it had just gone five in the morning.  
Remembering the text, he darted back to his bed and urgently unlocked his phone, thumbs trembling. The text message was brief but it still knocked the breath from Phil's lungs, his hand going to his stomach as if he had been hit by a wrecking ball.

'sorry i cant do this but thank you for everything.'

Phil ran his hand through his hair as he reread Dan's message over and over, wondering when he had left. If only Phil had awoken when Dan got up, then he might have been able to convince the younger to stay with him. Phil sat on the edge of the bed shakily, his mind spinning. Why had Dan left? Where did it all go wrong? Was it something Phil had done?  
The only way to get answers was to call Dan's number, which Phil did speedily, tugging his boxers on that were left on the ground as the dialling tone endlessly rang. It felt like another age had passed by with each time Phil redialled and waited for Dan to pick up, worrying for Dan's safety as he continued to not answer, but eventually there was a sniff and the sound of a breath hitching.  
"Hello?" Dan sounded upset, clearly crying down the phone, and it hurt Phil's heart. What on earth had happened to make Dan feel like this?  
"Dan? What's wrong, why did you leave?" Phil demanded, clenching his fist and pushing it against his thigh hard.  
"Phil - I'm sorry," Dan sniffed, the sounds of his sobs making tears come to Phil's own eyes. He didn't often cry but he knew when the adrenaline had seeped from his body he would be in tears.  
"What happened? I don't understand," Phil pressed, his own voice getting loud and afraid. Dan moaned sadly down the phone. "I thought you were happy."  
"I just can't do this, okay?" Dan replied, his words nearly undetectable due to his crying. "You're a brilliant man but I can't be with you. I can't let myself be vulnerable."  
"You can be vulnerable with me!" Phil cried, standing up and pacing around his room breathlessly. His voice softened as he took deeper breaths, trying to calm himself enough to talk to the crying boy. "I'm not a bad person, I want to take care of you and just - just be with you."  
"No, Phil," Dan replied firmly, though his voice wobbled. "Goodbye. Don't call my number again."  
"Is this about the money?" Phil had to ask in rush, terrified that Dan was going to put the phone down. Even though the conversation was killing him, he didn't want the call to end. So long as Dan was talking to him and listening, perhaps he could snap out of it and realise it was okay to be with Phil. "It doesn't matter, it never matters. It's just paper, it doesn't matter if you have less than me -"  
There was a wail and Phil felt a tear slip down his cheek - it was hot and tasted like salt on his lips, but he quickly wiped it away with his knuckle, leaving his bedroom and pacing the dark apartment with the phone pressed tight against his ear. He couldn't believe how quickly this amazing time with Dan was ending. He hadn't expected this at all, and it threw him completely. He had gone to bed thinking of waking up with Dan and getting breakfast together. He would have taken the day off to be with the younger, and they could go out somewhere nice.  
"Just don't call me again, okay? Don't text me, don't look for me. I don't want you to." Dan sniffed hard but his voice was sterner than it had been since they first started talking. Phil's lip trembled as he pressed his mobile harder against his face, mushing the words. "You're a wonderful man, Phil, but I just - don't - trust - you."  
With that, the call cut off, the purr of the dialling tone ringing in Phil's ears. It took him a few minutes but he managed to take the phone from his ear and throw it on the sofa beside him; he couldn't think straight right now, or make sense of Dan's final words to him. His legs felt from lead but he forced himself to move and to sit down; he ended up perched at the breakfast bar with his arms stretched on the top in front of him, running over the smooth surface. It was still too dark but he didn't want to switch the lights on yet. If he looked around the room in full light now, he was sure he would think of Dan - flirting with him in the doorway, sitting beside him on the sofa, following him to the bedroom. It was the sudden memory of Dan's happy smile, his head tipped back to look at the stars as he spun around, that broke Phil, and he put his head in his arms on the breakfast bar, crying for the first time in a long time.  
**  
Dan hadn't slept, still sniffing miserably and rubbing at his sore eyes and cheeks every so often, but he was certain he'd made the right decision. He decided it would hurt for a while but he would get over it. He had to. He barely knew Phil - which didn't explain why it felt like his heart had been smashed into a million pieces.  
He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He could feel the warmth of the sunlight outside straining to push through his curtains, his bedroom doused in a dim, irritating light. There was the sound of cars honking and the rumbling of buses outside, the occasional shouting of his neighbours, but he didn't bother moving. Not yet.  
If Dan breathed in deep enough, he could smell Phil on his skin. He needed to shower, but he was exhausted from crying, his broken sleep, and the sex he needed to forget. There was a pain in his chest that kept him pinned to the bed and he rubbed at it, soothing the sharp ache with his fingertips and slipping them into his shirt between the buttons.  
An hour later he dragged himself up and had a brisk shower, smothering his body in shower gel and emerging in a towel, sitting in the kitchen and eating some cereal. This reminded him of when he had waited for Jim to return, wondering why the days kept passing by but he never came back. It was two months after he realised he had been abandoned that he pulled himself together and threw himself into living - stripping wildly at every gig he could get his hands on and bathing in the attention, seeing his old friends who only hung around to drink and party but were never there at any other time for him, buying new curtains and a new kettle and getting the plumber in to improve his flat.  
But this was different. He had moved on quickly from Jim because he had been selfish and impersonal from the start - it was all young, brash 'love'. The only thing that hurt him was the thought of being left behind, causing his distrust to take over his rational thinking, protecting himself. Phil was a perfect man, /the/ perfect man for him - he was beautiful and caring and made Dan feel so special, even if their time together was short.  
It would take Dan a long, long time to get over someone like Phil Lester.


	8. Radio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a fucking dream I'm living in" - Radio.

The apartment was cold when Phil got home, shivering slightly and not removing his shoes or suit jacket due to the chill. It had been a week since Dan broke up with him and his heart felt just as pained. He grabbed a drink from the kitchen and switched on the heating before dumping himself on the sofa, watching the television. It sounded almost too loud to his own ears but he didn't bother changing the volume: his mind was still stuck on the boy he missed so much. He had never had a painful break-up before, and now he could understand why mopey songs on the radio were so sad. He could see how people could get so down and depressed when they parted from a partner.  
Though he and Dan never claimed to be exclusive, he was certain they were. Phil was also certain that they were suited perfectly, and he would never find another soul like Dan. Even from the little time they had spent talking he could see he was a kind person, with a hilarious sense of sarcastic humour. He missed it.  
Phil pulled his legs up on the sofa, shoes and all, and leaned on his elbow, watching the movie playing without taking in the plot or the characters. All he could gather was it was a romantic comedy, and the couple on screen were clearly very much in love, preparing for their wedding day. Humorous capers aside, it made Phil smile. That could have been himself and Dan one day, perhaps. It was far too early to imagine a life-long commitment to one another but it still made Phil's heart thump quicker in his chest, and he felt the grin stretch wider when he imagined it all - if they had been together, only time would have been able to tell who would be the one to propose, and whether or not they'd decide to have an actual family to raise with each other. But the idea of spending the nights in each other's arms, neither of them lonely, just feeling safe and happy and perhaps having a game or two on the Xbox filled Phil with a satisfying warmth in his belly.  
Dan wouldn't have to strip any more - Phil brought in enough money to cover them both ten times over. It was almost relieving to imagine; of course, Dan could strip if he really wanted to, but he wasn't one-hundred percent certain the boy really wanted to spend the entirety of his life taking his clothes off, and Phil knew the younger was clever enough to excel even more than Phil had - their long conversation at dinner had impressed him, with Dan's extensive vocabulary and knowledge.  
Phil's breath stopped quickly when he realised Dan /didn't/ have the opportunity to be taken care of by Phil. He would still be stripping, lonely in his flat at night, because he had dumped Phil. Phil had forgotten only for a few mere minutes but it still shocked him when he remembered, reminding him all over again of the pain and hurt that slashed at his chest like sharpened claws, leaving his heart in tatters. Phil curled up a bit, hugging his arms around his body and lying his head down on the arm rest of the sofa, staring at the television but just seeing colours - his eyes had blurred to much to enable him to see what was happening on the screen.  
Phil gave up and closed his eyes for a while, needing to rest them after the long day at work: he had thrown himself into his job to give himself no spare time to think of Dan. He couldn't help but wonder, as he lay in his comfortable and warm flat, where Dan was now. Was he doing a job with a client, taking his clothes off and revealing himself to some other man? Phil was disgusted with the thought of another man looking at that beautiful body.  
He had to stop his thoughts from circling around Dan. Phil got up abruptly, his head spinning from going from horizontal to vertical so quickly, and marched to the kitchen area of the open space, grabbing some cans of food to microwave for a quick meal; as he waited for the food to cook he pulled off his shoes and threw them haphazardly beside the door with loud thunks before pulling his suit jacket off and placing it on the back of the breakfast bar chair. He decided he would eat his meal, have a break by watching a horror movie, then get some of his work done on the computer. His life couldn't revolve completely around the man who dumped him.  
**  
Dan was lying on his sofa, staring at the television and sighing every so often. He had one job later, an 18th birthday party, and he was saving some energy before he would stretch his body, practice his routine and get ready to perform for the birthday boy. Dan winced at the title 'birthday boy', recalling it was what he had called Phil several times. Dan frowned and clicked his remote at the screen irritably, putting on the music channel and attempting to gain some inspiration from Nicki Minaj's new music video - he was going to use one of her songs for tonight. He couldn't allow Phil to seep into his thoughts.  
Unfortunately, he lost the battle with himself inwardly and gave up: he couldn't stop thinking of his own birthday boy.  
Dan thought back to how long ago it had been Phil's birthday, shaking his head in disbelief that it hadn't actually been that long ago. It felt like he had known Phil forever - they had an instant connection. Though he didn't intend to torture himself, he wondered what it would have been like if they were still together. They would have had more dates, more glorious, heated nights of sex - it made Dan shiver and purr - and they would surely be spending the upcoming Valentine's day together.  
Dan hadn't celebrated that day in years, though it was noted in his mind as a goldmine at the club - lonely men liked to watch Dan and the other strippers dance on the night, showering the boy with cash because they had nowhere else to spend. If Phil didn't mind, Dan might have worked at Naughty Dancers, just so he could earn his own money; he despised the idea of taking from Phil even though he knew it would be useful and Phil would be perfectly happy to spend on him.  
He could imagine it: Phil in the crowd of faces, watching Dan dance and wind himself around the pole. Dan smiled to himself, his hands thoughtlessly wandering down his stomach and thighs and imagining himself doing the routine, his eyes kept on Phil's. Phil might be smiling, stepping forward to place notes between Dan's teeth and admire him with a drink up close. None of the other men would know it but Dan would be Phil's. Then they might go home and Phil could possessively take Dan on his sofa, on his floor, over the breakfast bar - anywhere to show that they belonged to one another.  
Though the thought was appealing and delicious, making Dan giggle to himself and tease his thighs, they could go somewhere else low-key: the restaurant from their first date, a late night stroll, a candlelit dinner at home. They could kiss and make love later that night, slow and precious. Dan lost himself in the thought of Phil carefully kissing down Dan's body, stroking him gently and slowly thrusting into him.  
It wasn't the idea of no sex with Phil that made Dan cry, his hands no longer teasing his body but instead going to his face. It was the idea of never seeing Phil again, for sex or otherwise, that brought on the tears, even though Dan knew perfectly well he was the one who told Phil to never speak to him again.  
Dan stopped himself from crying quickly and wiped his damp face. He was performing in two and a half hours, so he needed his face to be fresh, not blotchy. He rubbed at his eyes, making a mental note to add the eyeliner - heavy this time so it would be easily seen under the flashing lights at the club - and got himself off the sofa. He needed to prepare his body, loosen his joints and muscles to dance smoothly; if he was working on the pole tonight, he needed all the fluidity he could get. There was no use being sluggish on the pole.


	9. Carmen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen" - Carmen

Phil couldn't take it any more. He couldn't sit by and just allow Dan to slip through his fingers - not that easily. Determinism filled him as he slid the office chair beneath the desk, frowning at the computer and finding the Naughty Dancers website once again. Quickly clicking on the contacts and address page, he scrolled through and found the address of the club, a few streets away from where he had picked Dan up for their date.  
Scribbling it down on a post-it note, he took a gulp of coffee and sat back in his chair, feeling restless as the plan came into place. He would go to the club and see if he could find Dan later that night, when the club would be alive with patrons keen to see the dirty dancers. Dan had told him not to look for him, and he had discovered when attempting to contact the boy that his number had been blocked, but he just couldn't help himself. Phil /knew/ he could take care of the boy, that he was a good person - Dan was deluded. The happiness on his face during their date glowed so strongly that Phil couldn't deny it: the stripper would be happy with him.  
The hours paced themselves, dragging endlessly and driving Phil to near insanity, but soon he left work and ordered his driver to take him straight to the club. Even if Dan wasn't there, it would be something at least.  
The club was seedy on the outside, with bright neon lights and guarded doors fringed with men and women; some dressed in sleazy, gaudy outfits - possibly the strippers - but others wore casual clothing, a few even in suits similar to Phil's. Phil took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, walking across the road to the building lit up with the bright red lettering above the door. Phil felt nervous - he had never been to a place like this before, and felt completely out of his depth wandering up to a club made for sexual dancing. He knew he would do it for Dan though - he was a stripper, and Phil knew to make it work he would have to understand his job in its entirety. He was desperate enough to do pretty much anything to be close to him again.  
The bouncer eyed Phil warily, spotting his new face, but seemed impressed by his work suit, tipping his head back in silent greeting. "ID, please, mate."  
Phil grabbed his wallet, fumbling with it for a moment and nearly dropping his cards on the ground. He sensed the people milling around outside staring, a few swaying drunkenly and clinging to one another to keep from falling, and Phil wondered how Dan could come here and feel comfortable. There was nothing scary on the surface but it was a world Phil had no knowledge of, and he felt uneasy. The bouncer nodded and let Phil through the doors, barely giving him a second glance, and relief washed over Phil. Until he stepped through the small, dank foyer and through the double doors on the other side, stepping straight into the heart of the club.  
It was paradise for any hot-blooded man or woman: the strippers wandered around in various states of undress, smirking in the low-lighting and running their hands over the patrons shoulder's, their backs, through their hair. They were all gorgeous specimens - not as beautiful as Dan, but typically hot and painted in make-up that highlighted their good looks and sexy features. There were stages dotted around the edges, small booths for fewer visitors to admire the dancers. Up ahead, opposite the doors Phil just walked through, was a main stage - currently empty and dark aside from the screen on the wall above it which flashed images that went in time with the sensual music which pumped through the speakers and filled the hot air. Leading from the main stage was what appeared to be a glowing, white catwalk and a circular, smaller stage at the end of it - in the centre of the room - where a woman was spinning around the pole. People crowded around, drinking her in along with their alcohol.  
Phil gulped, feeling flustered. It was a heavily sexual atmosphere, too warm and too dark, and he noticed the bar set to the far left across the club, deciding to make a beeline for it. He didn't want to stop and focus on the stripper in the middle of the room for too long because he didn't want to imagine Dan looping around smoothly, his back arching and strong legs wrapped right around the metal, tipping back as the woman was doing and grinning cockily at the audience from upside down. Phil shook the thought and rushed to the bar, but he had hesitated too long.  
"Hey, honey," a female stripper greeted, sliding her hand across his back and leaning close. Phil averted his eyes from her cleavage and leaned back a bit, uncomfortable in her grasp. "Why so shy? Don't you want to watch Stella down there?" They both looked back to the pole dancer, who was on her knees and fondling her chest, then back to each other. The stripper smirked and fluttered her eyelashes alluringly, leaning up to whisper in Phil's ear, "Or perhaps you'd like a private session."  
"No, thank you, I was looking for Da- Dean. Dean James," Phil replied politely, quickly remembering to use Dan's work name. The stripper gave him a smile, sliding her hand down his arm.  
"Dean is busy right now, honey, though there are plenty of other strippers for you to enjoy." She locked eyes with another one - a male stripper with a broad chest and bright blonde hair, his chiselled good looks nothing on Dan's softer features - and gestured playfully fpr him to join them. Phil's heart sank as he slowly struggled to get anywhere, but at the same time he felt more determined. He needed to find Dan no matter what. As soon as the boy wandered over, Phil stepped away from both strippers.  
"Look," he said, holding up his hands to stop them from advancing. "My name is Phil, I was sort of...dating Dan. Dean. Whatever. It all went wrong and I can't be away from him for much longer. I need to see him." Phil was rushing his words so quickly he wondered if the silence he received in response was due to misunderstanding, but the pair glanced at each other, sharing a concerned look. It was unnerving to see the smirks slip from their faces and become replaced with something heavy.  
"What?" Phil couldn't help but ask. He was afraid he'd said something wrong, blurting so stupidly, or perhaps there was actually something wrong. A man wandered past, beer in hand, and broke the silence by leaning himself on the male stripper, licking his lips and staring at his body.  
"Private dance?" he slurred, and the boy flashed the sexy smile again, taking him by the hand and leading the man away without another word or glance. The woman stayed, sighing.  
"Maybe we should talk for a sec," she said, turning and walking to the bar. Phil followed and sat on the bar stool beside her, discovering her name was Carly when the barman greeted her. Carly looked to Phil and leaned her chin on one hand, then commented, "You're the mysterious date then."  
"I - yes," Phil replied awkwardly. How much had Dan told his colleagues about him? Did they know the full story, or was Dan not close to them? Carly breathed a laugh and smiled almost fondly.  
"Ah. He was so excited about that date. He didn't say it but you could tell," she said, accepting the drink of lemonade from the barman with a wink, briefly biting the straw between her teeth and thinking.  
"He talked about me?" Phil asked, feeling his heart flutter in his chest, though it still pounded hard in his chest in time to the bass blaring from the speakers.  
"Mhmm," Carly said, nodding as she sucked at the straw. "Not much though, mind. He was only here briefly to pick up another costume."  
Phil looked around - somehow he couldn't quite place Dan in here. He knew Dan was just as gorgeous and talented as the other strippers here but he had only been alone with him. He'd never seen the boy in full action with a big crowd watching him. "What's it like, when he's working?" He practically whispered the question but Carly grinned.  
"God. Everyone loves Dan. He's like fire up there, he's hot," Carly giggled, glancing over at the pole where Stella was being joined by a friend, who was touching her bare breasts. Phil looked away quickly, feeling rude to look at such a thing, and noticed Carly shake her head at him. She continued, "Everyone loves when Dan performs. He used to have a reputation back in the day, when he was with... when he started." Phil frowned as Carly stumbled on her words and quickly closed her mouth, looking away.  
"With?" Phil prompted, knowing straight away there was more to the story. After a few seconds, he quickly demanded fearfully, "And what reputation?"  
"Just a reputation for being the best. He was the hottest, everyone was crazy about him when he was here most nights. But he was always a good boy, don't worry. No shagging the customers." Another sip of the drink as Carly purposely looked away from Phil.  
"He was with someone, wasn't he?" Phil questioned. His heart felt heavy as it thudded in his chest, and though he knew Dan was single now, and this significant other was past tense, he still felt a throbbing of jealousy. He wasn't as bothered by Dan's stripping, as he knew everyone could only look and not touch - though that was still difficult to wrap his head around - but the thought of Dan kissing and touching anyone who wasn't him, or having dates and being in love... It made Phil feel saddened.  
Carly sighed, touching her hair and ruffling her dark locks, then said quietly, "You didn't hear it from me. Dan had this boyfriend in his teens, this older guy who Dan /adored/. One of those silly infatuations. Anyway, basically Dan started working here to start saving for them both to leave and get a house somewhere nice, I think it was France."  
Phil's head was spinning as he took in the information. This life Dan had experienced before he had met Phil was so strange to imagine. A young boy, nearly ten years ago, stripping for money and for his boyfriend. Ten years ago, Phil had been just starting out in his father's business, climbing the ladder with dignity and money to spare, and he couldn't imagine his nineteen-year-old self gyrating on a pole for a few notes.  
"What happened?" Phil asked, beginning to feel nervous.  
"Dan didn't realise that Jim was in the drug trade and gambling and all that shit," Carly explained, rolling her eyes. Phil's fists clenched at the words, sickened by the idea of such a man manipulating the younger boy; he was certain, especially from Carly's disgust, that he was that kind of man. "He was naive, and Jim never told him any of that. He told Dan he had some business to sort out, left and never came home." Carly looked fierce, her voice shaking with quietened anger. "He left Dan, alone, in that fucking disgusting flat with barely any money and no family to lean on. I knew he was trouble from the start but I..."  
Phil could feel it too, the anger pulsing through his blood. All he wanted was for Dan to be safe and protected, happy. It seems like this ex-boyfriend ruined that for him, ruined his trust. With his own frown, he asked, "So what happened to Jim?"  
"No one knows. He could have left to start a new business, he could have found someone else, he could have been killed for not paying debts... I don't know and I don't care. I looked after Dan as much as I could and I /wish/ I told him to leave that son of a bitch." Carly sighed deeply, taking a deep breath. She peeked at Phil and smirked. "Sorry. It was hard on all of us, seeing Dan go from bubbly to broken."  
Phil didn't want to hear anymore. It was torture, imagining Dan being abandoned and upset over some guy who would never deserve his love. Still, he was glad he had found this information out - it explained Dan's distrust, why he left before he could get hurt. He didn't want a repeat of last time.  
"Where do I find Dan?" Phil asked Carly urgently. "He blocked my number and I wouldn't know where to start with his flat address, I just need to see him."  
"He's not working here tonight, he has a private booking," Carly informed, but before she could say anything else a group of men wandered over, all of them jostling and shouting and leering at Carly's bosom. Phil felt his heart sink again - is this what Dan had to endure? Maybe he liked it, loved the brief attention that wouldn't hurt him, since he would never give his heart to a group of strangers who just wanted to see some flesh. Before Phil could gather himself, Carly was standing, grinning at the boys who wanted her to dance, though she looked at Phil and muttered, "Go home. If he wants you, he'll come to you. Don't make this harder on him."  
As she disappeared, Phil sat alone for a moment, staring at the empty lemonade glass. He hadn't found Dan but he had an explanation as to why he told Phil to keep away. Now that it made more sense, he felt relieved - Phil hadn't actually done anything wrong. There was still a chance that, if he found the boy, they could make things work.  
Before he could be swept away by another stripper advancing on him, he stood and walked away quickly, stepping through the dark club and stopping in the foyer to call his driver, before emerging into scarlet-lit street, the air suddenly chilly and his vision tilting after the heady heat inside. Back inside his familiar, comfortable car, he felt exhausted, barely able to make sense of all that Carly had told him - the words spun round and round his head like a carousel, dizzying him. The new world he had entered had worn him out, and he was still stunned that it was the environment Dan worked in, and had been working in since his teens. There was a ring of sadness to it, knowing Dan was vulnerable and his hopes had been dashed, the poor boy stuck in that kind of job ever since it all went wrong.  
Whilst Phil was pleased that he seemed to have colleagues to watch his back in there, he also felt strangely proud that Dan was so loved and talented, adored for his perfect moves and good looks. He just wished the audience could see past the pretty face sexy body and notice Dan's sweet spirit and his intelligent, warm soul, which was what kept Phil so drawn to Dan.  
Phil rubbed his hands over his face, his thoughts mush and jumbled after the long day at work and strange environment in Naughty Dancers, but he knew the night would be longer. There was a lot to think about, though not only about Dan's past and his talent. He needed to work out what to do next, hating that Carly advised him to wait for Dan to come to him. What if Dan never came to him ever again, and spent the rest of his life assuming Phil was going to hurt him just like his old boyfriend did?  
That thought made Phil fold his arms and hug his own body, worrying for Dan's worry, and wishing Dan could see Phil just wanted /him/ - he had enough money, and no desire to chase it. All Phil wanted was Dan, whether he was a stripper or not.


	10. Million Dollar Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If you're going crazy just grab me and take me, I'd follow you down down down, anywhere anywhere" - Million Dollar Man.

Slipping through the back door, Dan swiftly made his way through the dank corridor of the club to one of the two dressing rooms, opening the door and finding a group of his colleagues getting ready and chatting inside. They bustled around the mirrors applying make-up and strutted around tugging at their flimsy, revealing outfits - a sight which had intimidated Dan when he first began working at the club. He remembered the first night he had started working as a stripper: Jim used to bring him to Naughty Dancers a lot and Dan had been left alone to watch the shows. Jim had a lot of friends who he would meet in the dark corners, leaving Dan alone at the tables and admiring the pretty faces and incredible routines. When he had been approached by some of the girls, they had struck up a conversation and, after a few weeks of frequent trips to the club, they had insisted Dan got on stage and had some fun too.  
He was hot, they had told him, and Jim had been more than supportive when Dan explained he could get money from the nights of taking his clothes off and getting raunchy on the stage. Looking back, it was evident Jim just craved the cash Dan pulled in with his shows, but for Dan it was fun to feel free and sexy, learning new dance skills and building his strength on the pole.  
Though Dan didn't have an unbreakable friendship with the boys and girls who worked at Naughty Dancers, they still had each other's backs. Relationship troubles, family problems, drug addiction, lairy customers - they had shared it all in the gaudy-lit dressing room or after hours while the cleaners swept the floor and wiped the tables. When Dan had first split up from Jim, leaving him with nothing but a scruffy flat and fifty pounds, they had flocked to him and eased his woes with shots and loans. They were just as trapped as Dan was, almost seeing a reflection of their own past issues in front of them when he broke down and sobbed, picking him up again and partying away the misery until the smile returned to Dan's face.  
Dan felt uncomfortable going through the whole scenario of having the strippers rush forward and pet him, asking him if he was okay and giving him a small drink of alcohol to relax him and boost his courage. Though it was in some ways similar to what they had gone through with Jim, it didn't feel right sharing the tale of Phil with the group. He kept the details to a minimum, only explaining he was a nameless rich man who had shaken his trust, and they had broken up.  
"Dan!" Ruby rushed forwards in her metallic, skimpy outfit and kissed his cheek, the pout on her red lips never slipping. Dan glanced in the large mirror ahead and caught sight of the cherry stain on his cheek, debating whether or not to leave it in place. It looked decorative, and strippers had to look pretty. "I didn't know you were coming tonight!"  
"I got called in, Jake couldn't make it," Dan explained, slipping his backpack off his shoulders and letting it softly fall to the floor, unzipping his hoodie and tugging his t-shirt over his head.  
"Solo tonight?" Ben asked from the side, ruffling his hair in the mirror and tugging at his tight, gold briefs.  
"Yeah," Dan replied distractedly, pulling the formfitting silver vest on and grabbing his silver shorts - only slightly more decent than Ben's - from his bag. He shrugged. "It's only on the pole."  
"Ah," Ben replied, walking to the door and smiling at Dan. "I look forward to your routine, I haven't seen you on the pole for a while."  
Dan smiled back wanly as Ben left to go to the main section of the club and find some potential customers, and took his place at the mirror. He stared at his own face for a moment as he unscrewed the black eyeliner from his bag and started applying, his eyes flickering to his open mouth and freshly washed fringe lying over his forehead.  
"Do you want to borrow my blush? You look a bit pale," Ruby offered as she coated her lips again, bending provocatively though no customers were in the room. Dan blinked a small piece of eyeliner out of his eye and shook his head.  
"No, thank you," he smiled, putting the eyeliner down and adding on some faint eyeshadow just to emphasise his eyes when the lights caught him on the main stage. Though Jake's routine was meant to be on the centre pole, Dan had been upgraded to the bigger performance space to impress the patrons - they seemed to love watching him dance when he came to perform.  
"Still thinking of that businessman?" Ruby pressed as she forced the zip to close on her bursting make-up bag, and Dan took a deep breath. He had been careful to not think of Phil tonight, not wanting to be shaken before a routine, but instantly he remembered Phil's smiling face and nearly dropped the little make-up brush, feeling it slip between his fingers.  
"Kind of," he mumbled, putting the make-up away quickly and bustling about, desperate to get outside. His heart was hurting, and he felt ridiculous that he was still feeling so low without Phil. He had been hoping the club would be a distraction, but he knew it wouldn't be. Not tonight.  
"Oh. That's a shame," Ruby said, kissing at the mirror once before tilting her head at the much taller boy. "Hey, we're going out to a proper club tonight. You should come by too, have some fun."  
Dan briefly debated his choices: sitting alone in his flat watching rubbish television or dancing and drinking with colleagues. He knew in the back of his mind that these weren't the only two choices - he still had a third option, to find Phil and tell him he was sorry that he left him behind, that he was stupid for thinking the man would hurt him. He could go after his routine and surprise Phil if he wanted to, tonight.  
It was an appealing thought but Dan held himself back, his supposed logic screaming "no" and insisting he stayed at the club where he could earn his wage and not have to place his emotions on somebody else. Before Dan could follow his heart, he quickly said, "Great! I'll come too."  
Ruby flashed him a smile, already on her way out the door, then beamed, "Perfect! Catch you later, gorgeous."  
Dan stood at the mirror and watched the other strippers leave one by one, his fingers fiddling with the eye shadow pallette on the table in front of him. Soon he was the only one left in the room, hearing the music pump louder through the speakers as the girls and boys got the customers excited for the night ahead - hours of bare bodies and fantasy come to life for some of these men who came to watch.  
Dan gave himself one final look: tight silver clothes with matching sleek silver trainers, smooth skin on show for his audience, perfect hair and flawless make-up exaggerating his big brown eyes. It was something Phil had complimented, just before they fell asleep in each other's arms the night they slept together. Phil had stroked his fingers down Dan's cheek and whispered, "You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen."  
Dan watched his own lip quiver, tears burning, and his reflection's face crumpled briefly. Through the blur of tears he could see the lipstick stain on his cheek, bright and juicy where Ruby's lips had kissed him. It sat right where Phil's fingers had gently touched him, and Dan didn't want this cheap make-up marking his skin. With one final look to the mirror, Dan wiped the lipstick off with a firm rub, turning his back on his scantily-clad reflection and making his way to the heart of the club.  
*  
It was comforting that the lighting was so low, even on the stage - deep purples and dark blues with a flash of white that lit up only the pole and Dan's body, making his silver outfit glint. He could hear the appreciative mutters as the music began, his first position of one hand up against the pole, leaning himself against it, making the audience shuffle in their seats keenly. He couldn't see the many pairs of eyes thirstily taking in his lean legs and perky ass, the bulge of his cock which showed through the tight shorts, and it was relieving. He hated to feel self-conscious, and tonight his vulnerability made him want to cover his exposed skin up with a warm, safe duvet, preferably on Phil's bed.  
Dan reminded himself irritably as he swung him self around in his first move, going as slow as the seductive music, that Phil was not supposed to be on his mind tonight. It was over between himself and Phil, it had been /Dan's/ decision - yet there was something appealing about imagining Phil was there tonight. In the crowd, sitting back on his own and watching Dan begin his routine and lithely climb up the pole. Dan wanted Phil to see him poledance, and be impressed by his strength as he lifted his tall body up with ease.  
Dan was smiling - he couldn't resist, as he shimmied to the top of the pole and trapped the metal between his legs before leaning his upper body back and slowly spinning down, feeling his vest top rise and expose his stomach. He wondered if Phil would want to kiss his exposed skin when the cloth inched up, and he gracefully reached the bottom before immediately flipping into his next move, almost laughing at himself. He could feel his cock harden against the shorts thinking of Phil, and ridiculously found it amusing that he had a boner as he sensually and slowly danced.  
His eyes flickered across the sea of hidden faces, knowing he had been mysterious for too long. He needed to acknowledge them, draw them in with a lustful gaze, and brushed his lips against the pole as he lowered, picturing Phil's smirking face. It made it easier, comforted him. Pretending to dance for Phil seemed to make his routine better - taking his time, letting his hips roll sexually against the metal between his legs, gazing sexily for those that watched. His heart panged, surprising him again like Ruby's question did in the back room, when he reminded himself grimly that Phil was not here tonight. Now that Dan had pushed the elder away, the man was probably spending his nights with someone he deserved, someone who saw just how wonderful he was. Why would Phil come to a grimy strip club and watch Dan - the slutty-looking boy who had pushed him away after a night of sex - when he could have a fabulously rich and untainted man or woman to spend his nights with?  
The song ended, the lights dimming as Dan slid gently to the floor with his legs spread, and he could hear the audience talking about him, complimenting his moves with a volume turned up by alcohol. Dan's lip was trembling again - thinking of Phil so much was a purely stupid idea, especially after telling himself not to - and quickly he rose, rushing off the stage and darting into the disabled toilet before anyone caught up and grabbed at him to compliment his moves and ask for more.  
Dan ran his hands through his hair in the painfully bright lights, splashing his flushed cheeks with water and running his wet fingers through his hair. His make-up was running slightly from the dancing, as lifting his entire body under the bright lights caused sweat to bead and run, but he knew the men liked to see him a little bit flustered. It spurred on their fantasies, making them imagine what the deliciously sexual boy looked like during real sex. It was one of the main things they came here to imagine.  
Dan exited hurriedly, not wanting to worry the other strippers or keep the crowd waiting, and forced a wide smile, biting his lip as he strode over to the catcalling men who would give him money: money which he planned on spending tonight when he went out to the club with his friends, wanting to down some drinks before he ended up crying once again.


	11. Summertime Sadness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I just wanted you to know, that baby you're the best" - Summertime Sadness.

Phil hoped his timing was alright when he rang his parents, stretched out like a starfish on his sofa in his pyjamas. It was ten o'clock at night in the UK, so the time was only mid-afternoon in New York where his they currently living. After Phil took over the business a few years back from his father, his parents had moved to America temporarily, exploring the world steadily. Though Phil was happy that they were enjoying their lives abroad and making up for the years when his father would be too caught up at work to pay his wife attention, he missed them so much and wished he could take some time off to visit.  
"Hello?" It was his mother who picked up the phone.  
"Mum?" Phil swallowed, feeling a bit silly that he was calling her over boy troubles.  
"Oh, Phil, it's been a while since you called! I've missed your voice!" she exclaimed happily, and Phil couldn't help but smile, pressing his face into the soft fabric of his sofa.  
"Me too," he replied, sighing without meaning to.  
"Alright, what's the problem?" His mother's voice shifted from cheery to concerned in a flash, detecting his low mood, and Phil didn't bother trying to play off his mood as nothing.  
"I'm just feeling a bit...sad," Phil confessed, unsure what word would be appropriate to use. He cringed at himself again, embarrassed that he needed help with his love life, but he couldn't think of anyone more understanding than his mother.  
"What's the matter? Is it work?"  
"No... It's - there's this -" Phil sighed and tipped his head back on the arm rest of the sofa, feeling his fringe flip up off his forehead. "I don't know where to start."  
"Is it a girl problem? Boy problem?" his mum asked immediately, her voice softening. Phil never complained about his lack of relationships before but he knew his mother thought it was a sore subject. Before the date, he had informed his parents that he was seeing someone, but after not mentioning it again since Dan told him they couldn't be together, he knew they would ask questions eventually.  
"Yeah. My date. Dan." Phil swallowed hard, trying to keep himself from bursting out with all of the things he wanted to say - his questions, his frustration, his sadness. "He kind of...dumped me the night after the date."  
"Really?" His mum was shocked. "I thought it was your first date!"  
"Yeah, I don't know." Phil picked at the edging of the cushion squashed next to him distractedly. "He told me he didn't trust me."  
"Phil, I am your mother, and I know you are one of the most trustworthy gentleman on this earth," his mum replied. It made him smile, as she clearly intended it to, but he could hear her concern, her own confusion, and even a hint of hostility towards Dan. He guessed she must know a broken heart when she heard one. "What made him say that?"  
"Well, I spoke to one of his...friends." He didn't want to tell her Dan was a stripper - she was never a judgmental woman but he wasn't sure how she would react to finding out her youngest child had been dating a boy who got almost naked for a living. "She told me he had a bad relationship before, his old boyfriend abandoned him with no money."  
"That's not very nice," his mum sympathised, and Phil continued with agreement, "I guess it messed Dan up. He doesn't trust me, probably because I /do/ earn more." He hated saying the last sentence but he knew it was one of the big reasons Dan felt afraid to be with him.  
"Have you tried talking to him?"  
"He blocked my number, and when I tried to find him at...work, his friend told me to leave him alone. She said I should wait for him to come to me but I don't think he will." Phil ran a hand through his hair, breathing deeply. "I don't know what to do, Mum. I can't just leave him. I care about him so much and I've never felt this way for anyone before."  
It was cringey to Phil's own ears, making his cheeks go red, but his mother didn't sneer or giggle. Instead she patiently replied, "If you care about him so much, why wouldn't you go after him? This girl isn't in charge of your relationship, Phil."  
"I know but I don't know what to do. I can't ring him, I don't have his address, I can't find him at work," Phil listed, feeling more irritated by the barriers as he heard them out loud. He couldn't stand knowing Dan was somewhere out there, just out of reach of him.  
"I wouldn't give up. I would keep trying," his mother replied strongly, her voice soothing. It gave him hope that she didn't tell him he was ridiculous, or to give up searching. "Go back to his work, you'll be guaranteed to catch him. Though don't do it during your work hours." Her warning made Phil laugh, reminding him of when he was a child and he would be told to not misbehave at school.  
"I won't," Phil said, quickly adding, "I will go back though. I'll find him."  
"Good." She sounded gentle as she continued, "I would hate for you to lose someone special. You've been alone for so long, I've been worrying."  
"I know," Phil replied shortly, swallowing. "But you don't need to worry."  
"That's my job!" Phil's mum insisted, making him laugh. "It is a mother's destiny to worry about her sons."  
After some general chit-chat, Phil put the phone down feeling brighter than he had before. Though he felt the pressure of tears just above his cheekbones, he felt much more positive since he came back from the club last night, certain he had lost Dan forever. His mother was right - why should he keep away just because Carly told him to? There was no law to say he couldn't visit the club, and she had no involvement with the relationship he had shared with Dan, the moments they had shared together.  
Getting up quickly, Phil switched the muted television off and made his way to the bedroom, switching lights off as he went. He would rest tonight and go back to the club tomorrow, and the next night, and the next night, until Dan appeared and he could pull him aside and ask him to try again, to see past the fear and trust him.  
Switching off the lamp, Phil closed his eyes and tried to get to sleep quickly, wanting tomorrow to come faster. The idea of seeing Dan again had his stomach flipping, excited, though in the back of the mind he was petrified. If Dan turned him away again, insisted they didn't get back together, there wasn't much else Phil could do. He would just have to let Dan go if the boy wasn't ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***This is the same night as the previous part***  
> Rushed, sorry.


	12. This Is What Makes Us Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Baby's table dancin' at the local dive, cheerin' our names in the pink spotlight" - This Is What Makes Us Girls.

The mellow, dusky atmosphere of Naughty Dancers was a world away from the heaving, upbeat club across the town, strobe lights flashing in time with the energetic beats that pulsed through the dancers. Dan could feel the music in his bones, drenched in the flashing lights - Naughty Dancers wasn't as crowded as this place, aptly named Rhythm, and there seemed to be no order in this place. Immediately the group went to the bar, led by Ruby who was already dancing, not at all worn out from stripping.  
Dan followed his friends like a silent lamb, muttering a thank you when he took the bottle of vodka from one of the boys and taking a large gulp. He was feeling a bit uneasy surrounded by how many people were jumping around, the volume ten times louder and drowning out all other sound, so he tipped the bottle back and let himself relax, feeling the alcohol slip into his system. He needed it to join in with the group, and he was determined to not be left behind them, miserable while they had fun.  
"Come on, we need to dance," one of the girls insisted, gripping Dan's wrist and hailing the group. She dragged him through the crowd of people to the middle of the floor, pushing past the moving bodies, and Dan let her guide him, sipping as he followed until they reached the very middle, all of them stuck close together and throwing themselves into the music. Dan closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel the beat in his veins, just as he would do when he stripped. He needed to /feel/ it to move, to become it, and soon his hips were swaying and he was jumping just like the others, a smile stretching on his face.  
On the dance-floor it was even hotter, the dancers dripping with sweat but never stopping, never letting their exhaustion slow them down. The more Dan tipped the bottle back, the more free he felt, his head spinning delightfully and the night becoming more and more fun. As he became drunk, he embraced it, wishing he wasn't in his shirt and jeans but in his stripper clothes, alive and impressive. Everything was a wonderful blur, his mind no longer tensed and sad, at least for a while. His friends were singing along, screaming and cheering and waving their arms in the air, grinding against each other, and Dan allowed himself to be part of the group. The last time he had danced with them at a club like this was a few years ago, when he tried to pick himself up and let go of what had happened with Jim, and now he wanted to let it all go again.  
Dan was soon delirious but he loved every second of it: the flashing emerald and jade lights dizzying, the music scrambling his thoughts, sweat dripping down his cheeks, but he, like the others, didn't stop. He just let his friends dance against him, holding their hands and singing as loud as he could until his throat ached, though his voice was still barely heard under the thumping music.  
On his search for a fourth drink, hours into the night, he stumbled against the bar and giggled softly to himself, leaning his forearms against the sleek tabletop and requesting another. He was having so much fun that he didn't want to stop - he wanted to party every night, not sure if he was tired or not. It was a wonderful feeling, being uncertain, not knowing if he was sad or happy, or tired or energetic. When the barman passed the drink over and he paid for his order, he turned and snickered when Carly joined him, her smile equally as wide. He had barely seen her all night, even back at Naughty Dancers, and he had missed her. She had been his teacher when they first met and the closest thing to a best friend over the years, and now he wrapped his arms around her drunkenly.  
"Oh, Carly, I've missed youuu," he sang into her ear, the pair of them wobbling together, and she kissed his cheek, laughing.  
"Me too," she slurred, pressing her finger against his chest importantly and raising her eyebrows. "I need to talk to you."  
Dan continued to giggle, amused by her slow speech, and leaned against the bar, vodka in hand. "What about?"  
"That man, the guy, he came for you," Carly continued, pulling out her mobile and fumbling with it. She frowned at the screen and squinted, muttering, "Fuck. I need a taxi, I'm so drunk and Angie's dad is dropping her off with me tomorrow."  
As she laughed again at her own state, Dan pulled a face. "What man?"  
"Hmm?" Carly looked back up, confused for a moment before recalling the conversation and swaying. "Oh! Your boyfriend, the one you dumped. He came to find you."  
"Phil?" Dan's thoughts snapped to attention, his body more alert at the name. He straightened, blinking quickly to clear his eyes, and frowned at Carly. "Phil came to the club?"  
"Yeah, he was looking for you. Yesterday, I think?" Carly shrugged, tapping on her phone, and Dan felt himself awaken. It was as if someone had put him in a cold shower, washing away the effects of the alcohol at the mention of Phil's name. He had come to find him. They could have crossed paths, they could have talked.  
"You didn't tell me!" Dan whined, though the slurring had lessened. He pushed Carly's shoulder for her attention. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
"You dumped him!" Carly responded, finally looking up and almost toppling. She reached out and held Dan's hand on the bar, catching it tight in hers. "I thought you didn't want to see him again."  
Dan was stumped. He didn't know what he wanted. He had tried so hard to convince himself that he never wanted to see Phil again, and had actively avoided the man, but at the same time he had been wishing Phil was beside him and they had never parted. Dan's face crumpled and suddenly he felt in despair, plonking himself on the bar stool and rubbing at his leaking eyes. "I don't know!"  
Carly appeared to sober up at the sight of Dan's tears, squeezing his hand again. "Maybe we should go, it's late. Come and get the taxi with me."  
"No," Dan mumbled, wiping his tears. He held up his drink. "I haven't finished."  
Carly took it from him and turned, pressing it into the hand of another man who was standing waiting to take an order before immediately tugging at Dan's hand. "It's late. You need to sleep it off."  
"You're drunk too," Dan sniffed but he stood up and did as he was told, pushing past the writhing men and women and following his friend outside. Outside the music was faint and Dan felt dizzy, swaying dangerously in the cold air. The sudden chill made him shake and he rubbed at his arms, the magic of being under the lights and drinking worn off. It hadn't been like this last time. He felt alone, vulnerable, wishing Phil would come and take him home to sober him up. When he knew it wasn't true he burst into tears, the alcohol working its dark magic on him.  
"Don't worry, honey, we'll get you home." Carly had her phone pressed to her ear, ringing for a taxi, and held Dan's hand as she spoke. He was grateful that she was beside him, as even in her drunken state she was caring and level-headed; as a mother, she was naturally protective and comforting to him. He was pleased he wasn't still disorientated on the dance floor with the Ruby and the others, as he was certain if he had remembered Phil he would have fell to the floor and cried, only resulting in him being trampled.  
The cold air was sobering, and he breathed it in deep, closing his eyes and letting it clean his lungs. When the taxi arrived, it was a blur, wobbling in the dark back seat and staring at the flashing lights passing by, suddenly tired and ready for sleep. His hand remained in Carly's but he wished it was Phil sitting opposite him. Maybe he'd smile at him quietly in the gloom. Maybe he'd give Dan his coat, since he was shivering and without a jacket. He was a gentleman like that.  
Carly instructed Dan seriously to drink some water and sleep it off, pointing at him sternly and insisting he go straight to his flat. It felt like hours to reach his bed but he managed with no scary encounters or falls, pouring a whole glass of water down his throat immediately before dropping fully-clothed onto his bed, his eyes shutting immediately. He was so tired and sleepy after the vodka and dancing but he could still see flashing lights behind his eyelids, hearing the pounding rhythm of music ringing in his ears. Tonight was certainly nothing like last time, and though it had succeeded in forgetting Phil and enjoying himself for a while, he had still remembered and cried once again. Dan groaned and pulled the pillow over his head as it if would block the faint noise out but it didn't work. All it managed to do was give him a clearer vision of Phil's face in his mind before he slipped off into a dreamless sleep, sniffing one final time before unconsciousness pulled him under.


	13. Without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm nothing without you" - Without You.

The kettle bubbled noisily in the corner of the counter, clicking sharply when the water had boiled, and it took Dan nearly all his strength to push himself off the wall opposite to pour himself a drink. His head was pounding, and it was disorientating with his red, blurred eyes: all he wanted to do was crawl back into bed and sleep off the effects of alcohol. Groaning softly, he poured the hot water into the bottom of the mug and topped it up with cold water to not scorch his mouth before taking it to the living room and slumping on the sofa.  
He felt sick and tired after last night, his head swimming and his stomach tumbling over and over, making him press his forearms into it in the hope it would remain still. It had been a long time since Dan drank and danced at a nightclub, and he had no desire to go back in a long time. Sipping his water, he tried to piece together the fragmented memories of the previous night. He could remember stripping at work but anything after that was muddled and blurred. He knew he had cried, and held Carly's hand in the taxi; though he couldn't clearly recollect why he knew it had something to do with Phil.  
When he mindlessly switched the television on, he jumped violently at the sudden blaring volume, exclaiming "Gah!" and spilling his warm water over his hand and lap, jumping up and feeling his stomach somersault once again. Slamming his mug down and wincing as the clanking sound drilled into his brain, he decided to freshen up, wanting to clear away the dust in his mind and feel well enough for some breakfast.  
Dan peeled off his clothes, tossing them to the floor before stepping into his tiny shower - it had barely enough room to fit his tall body and broad shoulders inside, but he managed as best as he could. Humming contentedly as the warm water poured down his sticky body and over his face, he took a deep breath and let himself think, straining to remember last night. In the time it took him to shampoo his hair and rinse the suds out, his eyes flashed open as he remembered pieces of the conversation between himself and his friend.  
Phil had come to the club, to find him, which surely meant he hadn't given up on Dan just yet, even if Dan had tried to shut him away and keep him behind the gate surrounding his heart that he had locked. Phil had still stood there, reaching through the bars, and it gave Dan hope that perhaps Phil wanted him just as much as he desired the elder.  
The emotions flickering through Dan's mind couldn't settle, and he wasn't sure which feeling he felt the strongest: anger that his plan to break up with Phil and protect himself wasn't working; sadness and frustration that he had missed the visit in the club and hadn't been there that day to talk to him; loneliness when he recalled Phil still wasn't by his side despite the development; joy that it wasn't over yet. That was what it meant, surely? Phil had come back and wanted to see him because it wasn't over between them. How could it be? Even though Dan had let his fears get the better of him, things had barely begun between them.  
Dan was smiling as he scrubbed his body with a sponge, unable to help himself feeling that strong sense of glee, though he felt hot tears seeping from his eyes. He caught sight of himself in the mirror above the sink, grinning like he had just won the lottery, and the smile faded quickly when he remembered that he still needed to see Phil for real in order for the storm to pass.  
With a towel wrapped around his hips, Dan padded back to the bedroom and picked up his phone, dripping wet but not caring as he hurriedly scrolled through his phone. He had deleted Phil's number shortly after blocking him and now he was regretting the decision more than he had when he first did it. He wished he could just phone him and tell him how he was afraid and confused and didn't know what to do: he needed Phil to say the words to convince him to allow the relationship to continue, to hear Phil say again that he would be good for Dan and it was okay to open his heart to him  
Dan sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed, not caring that the water on his skin was dampening his duvet. Pushing aside the thought that it was unlikely he would cross paths with Phil again any time soon, he decided to make a plan for himself, the tasks he would do for the next few nights in order to keep his mind out of glumness. He had to work privately tonight - two bookings, one straight after the other, so would need the rest of the day to flush away the toxins of his hangover and prepare for the stripping.  
As he got dressed into comfortable pyjamas, planning to get comfortable on the sofa and relax himself before tonight rather than get himself into a state of crying and worrying that he would miss seeing Phil again, he decided he would go to the club tomorrow, texting his boss on his way to the kitchen to say he would definitely be performing and should slot some stage time in for him. He didn't want to linger in his bedroom every night, thinking of the man he had let go and was possibly never going to see again. He would just have to keep himself distracted, working on new dance routines and perhaps getting back into full-time strip work like he had done when he first started out as a young, naive teen. Though it wasn't entirely appealing to imagine himself in the club every night doing nothing but remove his clothes, it was a far better option than sitting alone in his small flat and pining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rushed. Again.


	14. Lolita

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's you that I adore, though I make the boys fall like dominoes" - Lolita.

The bouncer nodded at Phil as he walked through the door and into the club for the third night in a row, not bothering to ask for ID this time, though his eyes narrowed when they crossed each other. It didn't put Phil off though - once he had made the decision to keep coming back for Dan, he didn't want to give up so early. As he made a beeline straight to the bar, to wait to request a drink and give him time to scan the dim room, he wondered briefly if what he was doing was creepy, and might put off Dan: did this class as stalking?  
"Hey, cutie," one of the male strippers greeted as he walked by, looking over his shoulder back at Phil and winking. Phil smiled politely, recognising him vaguely from the night before, and stepped forwards to be served by the barman, taking his orange juice and sipping before settling on a stool. He settled warily, rubbing his temples and trying to relax; he had come straight from his office and rushed to the club, and the busy traffic had stressed him out. He still wore his work suit, though he didn't feel too out of place when he caught sight of a group of older businessmen wearing similar attire, though, unlike Phil, they were slobbering over a blonde girl with large breasts, making Phil shudder when he heard a few disrespectful terms come from their mouths. Though the girl was smiling, he wondered if she truly appreciated some of the lewd comments these mature men were coming out with, but he reminded himself to not get distracted: he needed to see if Dan would appear.  
An hour or so passed by and Phil was nursing his third orange juice, sitting at a table on his own near the back of the room. There were some talented strippers performing tonight, on stage and in more private booths sectioned off around the edges, and he admired their skill, avoiding staring for too long in case anyone got the wrong idea; he was just watching to pass the time. By the time he got to the bottom of his glass, he was approached by the sixth stripper, the blonde girl who had been performing for the group of old men, though this time she had a crop top on.  
"Are you /sure/ you don't want a private dance, babe?" she asked kindly, sounding more sympathetic than coy, and Phil chuckled, nodding and sitting back in his chair with a sigh. Trust him to come to a strip club and get pity from the performers.  
"I'm fine, thank you," he replied politely, feeling a bit awkward when she raised her eyebrows but didn't leave, seeming to not know what to do with herself. Feeling rude, he gestured to the seat opposite and asked uncertainly, "Would you like to sit down?"  
The girl smiled widely but shook her head, staring with almost fascination by the offer."They're right about you, you know."  
"I'm sorry?"  
The stripper tilted her head at him and said fondly, "'Total sweetheart'," before beginning to walk away and possibly earn some money. Phil frowned and glanced around the club, unsure of who 'they' were. He could only assume she meant the other strippers, who must have noticed that despite his constant visits he never stared too long or accepted the offers to have a private show. It made Phil feel self-conscious, cheeks turning pink, as he imagined them nattering about him in the back rooms, and he slid down in his chair a little bit. His hiding didn't last long, as the three drinks quickly got the better of his bladder, so Phil stood and straightened his suit, nipping out of the darkened room and to the toilets in the foyer, feeling suddenly cold and blinded by the bright, cheap lights. As he stood in the urinal he could hear the music change and almost swell, becoming louder, though the volume did not cover the cheers of the other men and women who came to watch the performers. It had happened the night before whenever there was a new show on stage, drawing attention to the front, and he was curious as to what tonight's dance would be like. Last night a woman had done a series of gymnastics in just a thong and Phil had left that night wondering if he should have recommended that woman to the Olympics.  
After washing his hands, he emerged from the toilets and went back into the main part of the club, quickly grabbing his table at the back of the room and sitting back in his seat, pleased he got a private place away from the rest of the catcalling men and women who grouped in the middle and the edges. Phil picked up his glass, hand sliding into his pocket to grab his wallet and get another drink, but his eyes flickered to the stage and he focused properly, dropping the glass with a thunk on the table top.  
There were four strippers on the stage, but Phil did not focus on the three girls. Instead his eyes remained stuck on Dan, who wore a black outfit with mock slashes and a wide grin. It had been a while but Phil remembered that smile - a bit too wide and paired with staring, amorous eyes: Dan's work smile. Phil was frozen in place, stunned that he had actually stumbled upon Dan so soon, and felt strangely overwhelmed. He wanted to get out of his chair and rush to the younger immediately, his heart beating fast and his body tensed to jump onto the stage and tackle Dan into a hug. However he held back, firstly due to knowing it would be a weird thing to do and the bouncer would throw him in the street, but also because he realised Dan was dancing.  
It was striking to see, especially after the many days of not seeing him at all. Dan was just as beautiful as he remembered - perhaps more so - and he moved effortlessly in time to the upbeat music, dipping his body low and running a hand through his hair with the other strippers to the cheering and clapping of his audience. Phil didn't get up or get any closer - he was too amazed to move, and he was also very distracted by everything Dan was doing. He could barely breathe watching the boy walk down the catwalk part of the stage to the pole in the centre of the room, taking hold of it and swinging his body around before getting onto his knees perfectly, winking at the guys who clamoured round and biting his lip as the money fluttered over.  
Phil's immediate reaction - after the shock of seeing the boy again - was jealousy, followed by arousal. He didn't like watching Dan look at the other men in that way with his bare skin on show and his crotch straining through his tight clothing, yet he looked so good he wanted to take him right there on the stage, almost as much as he wanted to kiss and love him. Phil clenched his fists and kept them pressed on his thighs, just watching and avoiding either getting up or touching himself.  
He knew what Carly had meant about Dan and the audience - he was so gorgeous and moved so perfectly that he could understand why the men and women who came to the club loved to watch. Dan was off his knees, doing a few simplistic moves on the pole as the other girls danced with him, brushing their bodies against his, and Phil had to look away. It was ridiculous of him - he knew they were colleagues, but he wanted Dan all to himself, especially after not seeing him for so long. His senses were overwhelmed by the sights and sounds so he quickly got up out of the chair, nearly tripping in his haste as his head begun to spin in the heat, and rushed back to the cool foyer, taking deep breaths with his back pressed against the wall as the music continued to thump behind the walls and door, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Dan was actually here and performing tonight, dancing on stage.  
Dan hadn't seen him, thankfully, too distracted by the jeering crowd, and though Phil was kind of pleased, he was also hurt. He wished they could have locked eyes and things would have moved forwards, but it wouldn't work: Dan was too busy showing off and Phil was struggling to keep his cool in a grungy foyer. Before Phil knew what he was doing, he walked out of the main doors and strode into the street, breathing in cold air and trying to snap himself out of being so silly. It didn't seem to work though, as his feet wouldn't stop moving, walking him away from the club and in the direction of where his driver said he would park, regretting every step that he took but finding it impossible to turn back and see Dan properly again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disgustingly underwhelming.


	15. Lucky Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I got so scared, I thought no one could save me, you came along, scooped me up like a baby" - Lucky Ones.

Pressing a cold flannel to the back of his neck, Dan could feel the ache burning in his limbs already, sipping from his drink as he tried to cool down. Performing tonight had been brilliant, and he forgot how fun it could be to dance for the crowd with his friends. He was sitting in the dressing room to the side, his damp fringe pushed aside to cool off after the energetic routine under the heat of the lights, watching the other strippers come and go. He wanted a break before going back into the main section of the club so slumped in the chair next to the mirror and kept quiet, though he smiled to himself occasionally when he thought of how good the routine went. He thought he had done well on the pole tonight, and managed to convince the whole club he was hot and happy.  
His lips pulled into a wider grin when Carly opened the door and walked over, messing with her thick dark hair and sitting down elegantly beside him on the dressing table against the wall, a sheen of sweat on her own forehead. "Nice moves tonight, hot stuff!" she joked, making Dan go pink with pride. "Did you have fun tonight?"  
"Thank you! I did,actually," Dan replied, slightly surprised by the revelation. He paused. "I think it went well."  
Carly laughed and kicked her legs up onto another chair nearby, stretching her body out. "Of course it did. They loved you tonight."  
Dan thanked her again and chuckled, taking another drink, grateful for the icy liquid in his dry mouth. Carly continued with a smirk and a wink, "They weren't the only ones who enjoyed watching you." Still drinking, Dan frowned inquiringly. In a quieter voice his friend pressed, "That man, the guy. He was watching tonight."  
The drink caught in Dan's throat and he immediately jumped up, spluttering when he realised what she was saying. How could he have missed Phil for a second time? He bent over and coughed the drink from his throat and wiped his running eyes, smearing make-up down his cheeks. Carly watched with mild surprise that seemed to slowly shift to sympathy, concern touching her eyes. Dan urgently cleared his throat, his heart beating fast and the heat rising in his body again, then questioned, "When? Where is he?"  
"During the routine," Carly pointed out, standing too to step beside Dan and touch his arm. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated and growling, gathering his clothes with trembling fingers. "He left before you finished."  
"What?" Dan straightened and felt his lip tremble. His hands froze on the clothes he pulled out of his bag: if Phil had come back to see him, did the performance send him away again? Was he angry to see Dan smirking and practically nude on stage in front of strangers, and decided to leave in disgust? Or had he been noble, assuming Dan was happy and had moved on, and wasn't going to return to see him?  
"I need to find him," Dan mumbled, flapping his t-shirt and tugging it on top of his slashed, sexy top, fumbling with his jeans. "I am such a /twat/!"  
"You're not a twat, you just let your nerves get the better of you," Carly soothed, stepping forwards to comfort her friend, but Dan was already shoving his shoes on and rushing across the room to grab his jacket. When he ignored her,rushing around in a flustered manner, she snapped, "Dan, stop for a second!"  
Dan paused, his breathing quickened and cheeks flushed, and caught sight of himself in the mirror. His hair was a mess and he had black make-up smudged on his cheeks. Carly stepped forwards and reached up to rub the smears away, murmuring seriously, "You know you can't do this again if you get back together with him. It wouldn't be fair on either of you."  
"I know," Dan whispered, tears brimming. He often felt pangs of guilt beat into his stomach: though he had been afraid to trust Phil, a near-stranger, he knew, deep down, that Phil was a good man. It was something he couldn't shake, a thought that made him smile through his tears. Now he knew what he had to do: he had to find Phil and tell him just how sorry he was. Even if Phil turned him away and told him he didn't want him anymore - especially after seeing him dance in such a manner tonight - he knew there was still a chance they could get back together. "I really need him, Car."  
Carly's hand touched his cheek and she smiled, the positive expression relaxing him slightly. If steady-headed Carly was smiling, surely everything would be okay. "Then you'd better hurry. Maybe you could catch up."  
Dan left his empty bag on the ground and rushed out the door, stumbling when his aching legs wobbled. He ran right through the club, jacket flapping and fringe flopping on his forehead, but he didn't care if he looked insane. As he sprinted through the main section of the club, darting around patrons and weaving around tables, he knew he was breaking the sensual ambience, distracting the audience from the boy on the stage slowly pulling his shirt up, but he could only think of Phil.  
He noticed a lone table by the doors, a single chair pushed aside beside it and an empty glass on its side on the table, and wondered if it could have been Phil's place. He never would have seen him in such a dark corner at the back, and he cursed himself for not taking the time to look around the room.  
Dan was in the street in seconds, spinning around and trying to work out which way to go. The street was empty either way aside from the bouncer, and his skin was immediately covered in goosebumps as the cold, February air licked at his skin. Noticing a taxi up ahead pulling from the curb, he exclaimed loudly and ran, waving his arms to catch the attention of the driver, and he nearly collapsed in relief when the vehicle screeched to a stop abruptly. He dived into the back seat, landing without grace on the back seat, and hunted for his wallet in his jeans, thankful it was sitting in his pocket against his thigh.  
"Where to, mate?" the driver asked shortly, giving Dan a strange look through the mirror, but Dan merely sat up and did up his seat belt, forgetting embarrassment in his haste to get to Phil, panting as he gave the address.  
"Levram Apartment, please. And hurry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's irritating how short these are.


	16. Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Don't leave me now, don't say good bye" - Ride.

Dan had never felt more nervous in his life. The last time he felt like this had been years ago when he first stepped onto the stage, beginning his career in taking his clothes off and dancing: he had been sick with nerves, his legs trembling and his heart beating fast, barely able to compose himself. He had been terrified of the reaction the audience would have to him, of making a mistake with many eyes on him, on disappointing Jim. Though it had gone well, the nervous feeling had still lingered when he sat down at the back of the club with the other strippers, his legs wobbling and stomach turning as he smiled in relief with his friends.  
Now he was petrified of seeing Phil again after time apart, after the elder had watched him perform. Would Phil be angry that Dan had appeared careless, especially after dumping him so unfairly? Would he shout at Dan, turn him away? It made Dan's hands shake but he slid them over his thighs, rubbing at the denim of his jeans repeatedly to wipe the sweat off his palms. He couldn't bear the thought of hurting Phil further - he had already done enough damage to the relationship, breaking up with Phil and shutting him out.  
Dan was close to crying, feeling pressure behind his eyes and in his nose, but the taxi pulled up on a familiar road, just outside the large, sprawling apartments. Dan's fingers trembled as he paid the driver and got out into the cold street, his breath ghostly white as he wrapped his arms around himself and forced himself to walk up the path to Phil's building. His legs moved faster when he caught sight of a man walking out of the door, and decided if he ran he could skip pressing the buzzer and go straight to Phil's door. Perhaps it would convince Phil to listen to him.  
He sprinted to the door, unfolding his arms and brushing past the man who was walking out of the door, ignoring his demand of "What are you doing?" and running straight inside past him, going to the stairs. He needed to move, he couldn't just linger in the lift. Running up the stairs, he felt his heart beat faster, so loud it nearly deafened him, and though he was becoming tired and breathless from the fearful rush he couldn't stop for a moment. He needed to get to Phil quickly and find out what was on his mind - whether it was good or bad.  
Dan found himself in the corridor where Phil's front door seemed to wait for him, and he made himself pause to catch his breath, rubbing his face as if to push the tears threatening to spill away from the front of his face. He fixed his hair quickly, wanting to look okay rather than a mess, and walked to Phil's door, taking a deep breath before knocking. It hurt his knuckles and he clutched them, rubbing the sore bones soothingly as his leg jiggled.  
Dan blinked when the door opened, taking a small step back, and nearly lost his breath when he saw Phil appear in front of him. The tears were there again, blurring his vision, as he took in the sight of the man: he was wearing colourful pyjamas, his hair pushed back and his skin paler than he remembered, but when his eyes widened and mouth opened, Dan couldn't resist leaping forwards and hugging Phil tight around the middle, pressing his face into the man's shoulder.  
"Dan!" Phil exclaimed, and Dan squeezed his eyes shut hearing his name in Phil's familiar voice, breathing him in and wrapping his arms around him tighter. "What are you doing here?"  
"I'm sorry!" Dan cried before he could help himself, clinging tight. "I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry -"  
He cut off when he felt Phil's arms wind around him, warm and strong and comforting, and exhaled shakily. He knew he should probably let go but he just couldn't, feeling safe and content in Phil's arms and relieved the man hadn't shouted or pushed him away yet. It was a sign Phil wasn't completely furious with him at least.  
"Shhh," Phil insisted, rubbing at Dan's back, the warmth passing through Dan's jacket and heating him up. Dan pulled away, his voice cracking as he quickly rushed to say, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking, I didn't want -"  
"Come on, come inside," Phil interrupted, guiding Dan in and tugging gently at his hands, closing the door behind them. Dan immediately felt safe in Phil's apartment, the fear melting away when he recalled sitting together playing video games and sleeping together, only good memories - apart from when he had sneaked away in the night. Phil led him to the kitchen, running a hand through his hair and looking just as distressed as Dan, turning back to stare at him with his eyes flickering over Dan's face before he leaned against the counter and folded his arms. Dan remained near the door, his nerves flaring up again. Now they weren't embracing he began to panic over what it meant.  
After a moment of silence, exchanging wordless looks, Phil finally shifted slightly and swallowed. "I saw you tonight, by the way."  
"I know. My friend told me," Dan blurted. He took a step forwards, determined to explain himself and apologise again for what he had done. "I didn't know, I didn't see you, if I had known I would have spoken to you, I'm sorry, I didn't -"  
"Slow down!" Phil exclaimed, laughing at him. Dan's stomach flipped pleasantly at hearing the light laugh and seeing the lovely smile, his own lips twitching. "It's okay. I enjoyed watching you, you looked beautiful." Though his tone was strained, Dan couldn't help but bite his lip at Phil's compliment, pleased he had made the man happy, even if he didn't sound entirely ecstatic. The more he looked at Phil, the more he could see uncertainty and noticed a crease in his brow, like he was hurting and trying to keep it behind him. He knew the feeling.  
"I'm so sorry," Dan whispered, wishing he could look down in shame but unable to tear his eyes away. They kept running over Phil's skin, his fringe, his cheekbones, taking in his familiar features and noting they were not at all different from how he had remembered in his nights of loneliness. "I didn't want to leave you but...I had to." It was all he could say.  
"I know." Phil swallowed and took a deep breath. "I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt a lot but I do understand."  
Dan felt the guilt twist in his abdomen like a blade wrenching, but nodded. "Are you angry with me?"  
"No," Phil said, frowning as if he couldn't understand where Dan had got the idea from. "Of course not, I'm just happy you're here."  
"Good," Dan breathed, hand automatically going to his chest to soothe it as it hammered. He took a few steps forward and stood in the middle of the kitchen, feeling unable to get close to Phil again. He wasn't sure if the elder wanted him close again just yet. "I was thinking a lot about what I wanted and what I should do and all this stuff, and I want you." The last words were limp; he wasn't sure if it was what Phil wanted too and he didn't want to make another mistake.  
"You do?" Phil questioned quietly, and Dan nodded.  
"Yes. I know I freaked out and I messed it up but I /do/ want you and I want to trust you and even if I'm scared I want to learn how to trust you -"  
"You're babbling again," Phil chuckled, quietening the younger. Phil looked at him for a moment then reached his arms out wordlessly, allowing Dan to rush forwards and hug him again, both of them wrapping their arms around one another tightly. Dan pressed his lips to Phil's neck, unable to resist - the skin was slightly rough from needing a shave but still soft, and he smelled wonderful. "I forgive you."  
"Are you sure?" Dan checked, swallowing hard as they swayed together, but Phil nodded, stroking circles against Dan's back.  
"Definitely. I want you too," he replied in the same quiet voice as before, and Dan laughed in relief, amazed.  
"Even if I'm a stripper?" he mumbled, making Phil chuckle too.  
"I told you before, it doesn't matter. It's Dan I want," Phil insisted. Dan couldn't keep the smile off his face even if he tried, thankful his face was buried in the elder's neck so Phil couldn't see the ridiculous grin spreading. He hadn't felt so elated in days, since he had last been with Phil, and there was a warmth spreading through his body. The empty holes carved into his heart when he had left Phil were filled, and he pushed any doubt aside firmly. He wasn't going to allow himself to become afraid again. He had promised to trust Phil, no matter how hard it would be to throw his caution aside.  
"It's getting late, why don't we get into bed?" Phil murmured, and Dan nodded silently, leaning back and still smiling. Phil's expression was similar - warm and happy - and his hands went straight to Dan's cheeks before he leaned down and kissed the boy's lips. Dan's heart was beating quickly again but it wasn't from fear - it was excitement, glee. When they pulled away, he pulled his jacket off and followed Phil to the bedroom, staring at the back of his head and wondering how he had ever managed to convince himself to let him go.


	17. American

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You make me crazy, you make me wild" - American.

Phil could barely believe Dan was finally here, and had found him. He didn't think Dan would find out he had been to visit, and had seen him dance, but it didn't matter now. It felt like days ago since he had freaked out in the club and rushed away from Dan, and he had almost forgotten the stomach-twisting fear he had felt when he thought Dan had completely left him behind and moved on. Phil had come home in despair and paced his apartment before sitting at his breakfast bar for a while stirring a coffee until the brown liquid turned cold, his panicked thoughts spinning as restlessly as his body felt.  
When he had opened the door and found Dan full of remorse, everything had changed. Where before he felt he had lacked something, which plagued his mind and, admittedly, frightened him, he now felt complete again, like the final piece of the jigsaw had slotted into place. It was still fragile right now, breakable, considering nothing had truly been officially set, but Phil didn't feel lonely with the warm body beside him, Dan's big brown eyes staring at him despite the tiredness that pinned them both to the bed, and Phil once again was filled with disbelief that he had really come back and was finally where he belonged - by his side.  
Phil's hand reached out and landed on Dan's soft cheek, smoothly stroking and trailing his thumb down to his mouth, then he whispered, "Your eyes are red."  
"I had to get the make-up off," Dan mumbled back, his own hand creeping through the gap between them so it slid against Phil's body. Phil chuckled, remembering how beautiful Dan looked on stage with black-rimmed eyes, but pushed unclean thoughts from his brain: they could wait for a while. Right now, he was worn out but wanted to make the most of the content, warm feeling that surrounded them both, as if they were encased in their own private bubble. No one else getting in the way, no club, no difference in the money they earned. Just two souls lying together, linked like their fingers resting on the bed between them.  
"What are you thinking about?" Dan eventually asked, shifting his head on the pillow. When the duvet slipped down his shoulder, he pulled it back up tight to his neck, getting comfortable and relaxing after the long night of dancing and running. His eyes were drooping and Phil debated when they should both sleep - they had been lying in bed together for a few hours, occasionally muttering to one another.  
"You," Phil admitted, smiling widely, which Dan mirrored. "I'm happy you're here. Finally."  
"Me too," Dan said, wriggling excitedly. "I could get used to this. This bed is everything."  
"Then you should stay over here more," Phil replied, running his thumb over his hand locked with Dan's. "Whenever you want to. I just want to be with you."  
Dan laughed, making Phil's cheeks turn red, but it was a fond laugh. He knew it sounded forward, and almost silly, like a line from a cheesy romantic movie, but it was the truth. Strangely, he knew he had only seen Dan a few times, less than a handful, yet after everything they'd been through, he was aware of the strong feelings between them that couldn't be easily removed, or passed off as mere infatuation. In his tired state, he briefly considered asking Dan to actually move in with him, so they would never have to be apart, but his logical side charged in and insisted it was too soon. Things needed to be taken slow and Dan had to remain comfortable and trusting with every next step in the relationship, which they had plenty of time for. There was plenty of time for himself and Dan to set up a home together, the same way there was time to wait before they jumped back into sex with each other.  
"I want to be with you too," Dan said, his reply snapping Phil out of his deep thoughts. "I always did, I just..."  
"I know." Phil said shortly. "And it's okay."  
"It's not okay," Dan sighed, looking away from Phil's eyes finally and focusing on his neck, flickering over the pale skin. "It was stupid."  
"You were scared," Phil replied sharply, trying to make Dan understand. He didn't like that the younger was still beating himself up over what he did, as he understood completely. "Look, it's late. We should talk about this another time. You're here now."  
Dan nodded, pressing his lips together, and returned his eyes to Phil's. He gave a small smile and shifted closer under the covers, shifting awkwardly for a moment until their fronts were pressed together. Phil removed his hand and wrapped it around Dan's waist and patted his body.  
"Let's go to sleep," he whispered. A part of him was paranoid he would wake up and find Dan gone, again, but he had to trust Dan as much as he needed to trust Phil. Even so, he wrapped his arm around him tighter, fingers gripping the boy's shirt loosely, and finally closed his eyes, content to hear the sound of Dan's breathing and feel his body beside him.  
*  
Phil was delighted to awaken with Dan still in his arms, in the same position they had fallen asleep in, and he pressed his mouth to Dan's head in relief. A few times during the night, he had woken up, as if his brain was checking up on the younger, but each time, Dan remained sleeping in Phil's arms, his face completely relaxed and calm. This time, in the late morning with a golden light slipping through the curtains and making the room glow, Dan's eyes were open and looking at Phil, and when he realised the elder was awake he smiled.  
"Morning," he mumbled, his morning voice rough.  
"Morning," Phil repeated, closing his eyes again briefly before opening them wide, waking himself up.  
"Don't you have work?" was Dan's immediate question, but Phil shrugged, pulling away to stretch and yawn after the night's sleep. He couldn't remember, or even think of anything that wasn't his satisfaction that Dan was reunited with him.  
"I'm the boss, I won't get in trouble," he smirked, and Dan laughed sleepily.  
"Sexy," he mocked, rolling onto his back and stretching himself, his arms above his head, while Phil leaned himself on his elbow, unable to keep from grinning at the boy beside him. "I'm seriously going to have to steal this bed, you know."  
"So that's why you came back!" Phil mock-gasped, placing his free hand on his chest. Dan returned the shocked expression before smiling and suddenly sitting up, grabbing Phil's neck and tugging him into a kiss. It was surprising but Phil immediately moaned into it happily, his hand on Dan's waist and gripping firmly, almost possessively.  
"I came back for you," Dan mumbled against Phil's lips when they pulled away an inch, his hand sliding down Phil's body and stroking.  
"Good." Phil pecked Dan's cheek and said, "We should get breakfast. My body can't stand lying down for much longer."  
He felt restless and tingly from all the wonderful hours lying beside Dan, and as much as he wanted to be by his side in peace, he needed to move about. They both got up, stretching their legs in synchronisation, then Dan took Phil's hand, swinging their arms as they walked to the kitchen. It made Phil laugh but he loved the feeling of their linked fingers - a simple, sweet gesture that connected the two of them, even if they were only going to be walking for less than ten seconds.  
Dan settled at the breakfast bar immediately and Phil grabbed the cold coffee mug, darting about to put bread in the toaster and make them both morning coffees; as he waited for the kettle and the toaster, he turned and watched Dan tapping his hands on the countertop, casually looking around the kitchen at all the cupboards and cereal boxes as if familiarising himself with the room. It looked natural for Dan to be in his kitchen, as if he had been in this apartment for as long as Phil had, and it was a beautiful comfort. When breakfast was served, they went to the sofa and switched on the television, their knees touching, and contentedly munching the toast; there was silence between them as the voices spoke on the screen, but it was perfect, and Phil reminded himself they had a long time - days, weeks, months - ahead of them to do more than sit in silence, so long as they both remained in the loving bubble that still curved above and around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually TRY to make these long: F off, length.


	18. Cola

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We made it out to the other side" - Cola.

By mid-afternoon, Phil was feeling restless again, barely able to sit still for a few mere minutes when he continuously reminded himself that Dan was present. He could feel Dan's body warmth, his knee rubbing against Phil's, and the scent of Dan lingered in the air. Every so often, Phil glanced sideways at the younger, smiling to himself as he took in his features: the boy was finally his. He could barely believe that Dan had found him once again, and finally they had established a relationship with one another.  
He hadn't let himself think it, but he had also craved the physical contact he was missing, remembering the passionate night they slept together and feeling his cock twitch in his boxers, shifting on the sofa when he remembered the way Dan had sat on top of him and rode him, the pair of them sweaty and groaning. Dan's blissed out expression of pleasure came to the front of Phil's mind and made him groan softly in the back of his throat, particularly when he recalled the devious way Dan had winked at his audience as he slid to his knees with his back against the pole last night.  
Dan seemed to catch on to Phil's twitching and shifting, his attention turning away from the television and directing to Phil's jiggling leg and hands resting on his crotch; Phil hoped Dan didn't notice, as he didn't want to seem forward and scare the younger away with the impression of only wanting Dan sexually.  
"Are you okay?" Dan asked, his voice husky from the couple of hours of silence, and Phil swallowed hard, stretching his lips into a wide smile. Hearing Dan's slightly gravelly and deep voice made his cock twitch again, growing against his will, and he moved his hands ever so slightly over his pyjamas to cover himself better.  
"I'm perfect," he replied cheerily, immediately staring at the screen in front of them both, but Dan wasn't stupid. His eyes slid to Phil's lap immediately then back to his face, clearly noticing the flush on his pale cheeks. Knowing Dan was staring made Phil blush deeper, irritated with himself for being so out of control of his own body, though he partly blamed Dan's tempting lips and sexy voice for that.  
"Are you turned on?" Dan questioned, his voice slightly high with curiosity, and Phil sighed, looking at him properly. He couldn't deny what Dan did to him.  
"Yes," he muttered shortly, and Dan's eyes widened momentarily, the gaze returning to Phil's bulge in his loose pyjamas. Phil relaxed when he saw Dan's happy smile, his tongue darting out and sliding across his lips as he stared at the elder.  
"Why didn't you say so?" Dan asked quietly, turning his body to face Phil with his hand resting on Phil's thigh, making him jump slightly. He hadn't felt Dan's hands on him properly for too long, and it made him shiver to think he could have him again.  
"Because we've only just...you know," Phil mumbled, nodding at Dan to signal the innocence in their freshly rekindled relationship, hoping Dan understood that he still didn't want to rush things after only a couple of hours, as irresistable as the stripper was. "I didn't want to ruin it."  
"You wouldn't be ruining anything," Dan murmured, leaning forward to kiss Phil's neck and make him groan softly, leaning right back into the sofa as Dan's hand crept up his thigh and his body shifted closer. His other hand caught Phil's cheek and the elder chuckled shakily, overwhelmed by Dan's lips on his skin already.  
"Are you sure? We don't have to - ah!" Dan's hand had peskily crept to Phil's crotch, pushing the pale hands away and squeezing gently, though firmly enough to pull a surprised moan from Phil's lips. Dan giggled and kissed lower, his teeth biting gently into the joint of Phil's neck and shoulder, palming Phil effortlessly as he kissed him. "That was naughty of you."  
"That's what I specialise in." Dan's voice was filled with a muffled innocence as he kissed back up Phil's neck. "Teasing horny men like you."  
Phil could only moan in response at the words. He was hot and flustered at the intimacy, particularly as he had barely encountered sex before Dan and now he had a beautiful boy touching his cock, clearly at ease with the whole situation. He admired Dan's confidence, which surely came from his years of stripping, and he felt he could push his nerves aside and relax with the boy he cared about so much taking the lead.  
Dan slipped off the sofa and onto his knees, pushing Phil's legs apart immediately, the movements so quick Phil had to blink and refocus his blurred eyes. His breath caught in his throat when he looked at Dan with his wide eyes and smirk, settled between his legs and running his hands up his thighs to pull at Phil's waistband slowly.  
"I never got to taste you before," Dan pouted, shocking Phil that the boy was being so forward, and his eyes rolled back when Dan's hand briefly returned to palm him again. As he grunted at the feeling of Dan's warm, large hand, the younger asked with the same angelic voice as before, "Do you want your cock in my mouth?"  
"God, yes," Phil breathed, pushing his upper body back against the sofa as Dan gave a chuckle and pulled Phil's trousers and boxers down, exposing his thighs and length. Phil felt faint embarrassment at the exposure but he didn't entirely care. All he could think about was having what Dan offered to give him - his member against Dan's tongue. Dan wriggled on his knees to settle more comfortably, not too phased by the hard, laminate floor, and took Phil back into his hand, stroking his cock slowly and firmly. Phil moaned loudly, the sound bouncing off the walls and filling the apartment, and bucked his hips thoughtlessly.  
"I forgot how big you were," Dan said softly from his place on the floor, his voice shaking slightly as he rubbed his thumb over the head of Phil's cock which fit perfectly in his hand. "But now I remember how it felt to have you inside me."  
Dan's words could only make Phil moan louder, his teeth clenching as he fought against the slightly embarrassing yelps whenever Dan's hand gripped tighter; his hips continued to buck as his fists gripped the sofa cushions with a hard pinch that hurt his own fingers. "Dan -"  
Dan merely giggled and leaned forwards, his breath warm on Phil's length, and his tongue darted from between his lips to give Phil's cock a taunting lick, sending a shudder up the elder's spine. "You're so fun to tease," he smiled fondly, tilting his head with that continues mock-innocence that was making Phil want to bend him over and take him on the floor for such impertinence. "Much more fun than boring old men."  
At the reminder of Dan's work dancing for other men that were not Phil, he felt his face drop into a frown, making Dan giggle more - he was clearly enjoying the game he was playing.  
"Enough talking," Phil snapped, fighting to keep the tremor out of his voice. "and suck my cock."  
Dan moaned aloud at this, almost as loud as Phil had been, and he took Phil's member into his mouth, sinking his mouth all the way to the base before slowly pulling back up, not taking his brown eyes off Phil's. Phil couldn't resist putting his hand on Dan's head to pet the soft hair and move it aside, groaning at the feeling of Dan's soaking, tight lips and his tongue gliding over the shaft.  
"Fuck," Phil groaned faintly, his eyes nearly closing as the pleasure dominated his body and thinking, but he determindely kept his eyes open, not wanting to miss a second of the boy on his knees in front of him bobbing his head with ease and his gorgeous eyes locked on Phil's. His hand tightened around Dan's hair, tugging lightly as the boy took him deeper, alternating his speed and even, at one point, giving Phil a wink, the corner's of his lips pulled up like a smirk. "You're so good at this, Da-an."  
Dan pulled his head away, coughing once as he giggled again and continued to pump Phil's cock with his hand, smearing the wetness over his length and grinning playfully. "Thank you, baby."  
Phil struggled to keep his eyes on Dan's, feeling himself get close to orgasm, his breathing heavy and fast. His heart was racing in his chest, especially at the sight of Dan's hand wrapped tight around his length and wanking him quickly. "God, I'm close. Fuck." He stroked Dan's hair roughly, swallowing hard. "I want your mouth again."  
"You can have my mouth," Dan replied heavily, his breath once again thick and hot against Phil's skin and his tongue swiping the head. "You can have any part of me you want, Phil."  
Phil's eyes squeezed shut at the feelings of Dan's silky, hollowing cheeks and his tongue lapping at the sensitive skin, his own movements just as sporadic as Phil's jostling hands and breathing. Dan let out an urgent grunt, tapping Phil's thigh, catching his attention to ensure the eye contact remained intact; Phil widened his own eyes, gripping Dan's hair and pushing his hips upwards as he came, a loud groan slipping from his mouth. The last time he had came, it had been inside Dan, and now he was releasing inside the beautiful boy's mouth. It surprised him that Dan tightened his lips as Phil finished, keeping his tongue moving quickly around Phil's member, but he loved it.  
He was panting and slightly damp by the time Dan had pulled away and wiped his mouth, neatly tugging Phil's trousers back up around his hips before neatly sitting beside him, smiling with an evident smugness before wrapping his arms around Dan's neck.  
"Did you like that?" he quizzed hopefully, nuzzling against Phil's neck, and the elder chuckled, his arm sliding around Dan's waist and squeezing him tighter to his body, avoiding pressing his sensitive crotch against the younger.  
"It was amazing," he insisted, kissing Dan's jaw and leaning their heads together, still catching his breath. "Just like you."  
"Don't," Dan groaned, batting at Phil's chest but still smiling, burying his head into his neck; the pair of them sat quietly as their breathing settled, settling themselves as Dan tightened his grip around Phil's neck, and Phil reciprocated the gesture, understanding the desire for the pair of them to remain as close as possible after spending so long apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That ending is so cheesy you could put it on crackers.


	19. Body Electric

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We get down every Friday night, dancin’ and grindin’ in the pale moonlight" - Body Electric.

Dan squirmed against the panting Phil, his throat aching slightly and his own heart still racing. He couldn't resist smiling to himself after he had pleasured Phil, but now he was left with a growing erection and a neediness: he wanted to be touched, sucked, fucked, anything that was Phil making him feel just as good. Phil's lips brushed his hair, and he shivered when he recalled the way he had tugged at his scalp - Phil was adorable and evidently lacked confidence when it came to sex, but the way he had taken some control, growling for Dan to give him what he wanted, had Dan flustered and trying to work out how to ask the elder for more.  
"God," Phil groaned, sighing heavily and chuckling. "It's been a long time since I had something like that."  
"Got your breath back?" Dan teased, poking Phil's waist, but Phil merely muttered against his head, "You'd better catch yours."  
"Wh-" Dan began to question what Phil meant, unsure what the man wanted to do next, but he suddenly pushed Dan back, his hands rough so he landed breathlessly on his back and gasped as Phil knelt up between his legs, which he pushed apart and spread so Dan's body was spread out on the sofa. He was surprised by the sudden desperation, the lust in Phil's darkened eyes, but he welcomed it, biting his lip and mewling with his hand reaching forward to tug at the bottom of Phil's shirt.  
"No, no, hands up," Phil ordered, making Dan gulp. His hands rested above his head, wrists crossed, and he felt goosebumps raise up his skin as Phil leaned down briefly to press a kiss to Dan's throat. "It's my turn."  
Dan let out a moan, his throat aching dully again, as Phil's steady hands slid up Dan's stomach and pushed his shirt up to his throat to expose him further before pulling his trousers down and off, tossing them to the floor so Dan was nearly naked. He liked the feeling of being exposed and bare for the elder - it reminded him of being on stage, loved and desired, apart from this time he wasn't in control, and he felt affection for Phil. Part of Dan wanted to panic again - the last time he had been touched sexually, it all went wrong - but he reminded himself that this was his partner, and all he wanted in that second was to have Phil ravish his body in kisses and push him over the edge.  
Phil looked slightly uncertain as he tugged at Dan's boxers and immediately began lightly wanking Dan's hard length, bending to kiss his thigh and knee sweetly. Dan could only moan, bucking his hips desperately and whining that Phil wasn't gripping him tighter, as the feather-light touches weren't enough, but Phil tutted at Dan's disappointed sounds.  
"You need to learn patience, Dan," he said seriously, his other hand skimming Dan's balls, the knuckles grazing his sensitive flesh and making him shudder and jolt. "You can't get what you want by pouting."  
"Please touch me properly," Dan whimpered, stretching his arms and legs out wider so everything was on show, everything could be seen by Phil perched between his thighs. Phil chuckled and raised an eyebrow.  
"Do you want more?" he asked, cupping Dan's balls with one hand and fondling them gently, making Dan's eyes roll back as he began to pant and sweat, gripping at the sofa cushions. He nodded weakly, arching his back when Phil squeezed his cock perfectly, the smirk on his face too much for him to handle. "Then you'll get more."  
Phil's fingers disappeared from his balls for a moment, making Dan's eyelashes flutter, but he closed his eyes and just let himself moan, feeling slightly embarrassed by how vocal he was being - he was certain Phil's neighbours would hear - but he didn't care. In case they could, he cried out loudly, "Phil!" He wanted people to hear he was Phil's, to hear he was making him feel good, his own hands caressing his torso.  
He jumped when Phil's finger circled Dan's hole, looking straight at him: Phil was paused, still teasing his entrance tauntingly but not daring to push into him without consent. Dan could feel the finger was wet - most likely Phil had sucked it - and the image of him doing such a thing made him groan throatily, nodding desperately and closing his eyes in preparation. He felt Phil shift, his breath on the skin of his stomach, and heard a whisper: "Just relax."  
It was easy to relax, despite the fizzling excitement and yearning which seemed to set his body alight, as Dan felt perfectly comfortable on the large, soft sofa with Phil touching him. He was happy to let Phil - this man who he trusted, who had forgiven Dan for leaving - take advantage of Dan's vulnerability.  
Phil's finger was barely an inch inside him, pulling another whine from his lips, but the elder insisted, "Hands above your head, Daniel."  
"Phiiil," Dan moaned, his hips rising and pushing against the finger, but Phil wouldn't allow it, pulling his hand back slightly to avoid it going deeper. Dan was desperate - he remembered the way Phil had felt stretching him before they actually had sex and those sensations were enough to make his body shake and his eyes roll back.  
"When I finger you, I want you to remember something," Phil insisted darkly, his voice sounding almost business-like, and it made Dan release a long groan. "No matter how many people watch you on stage or in private, only I can touch you. I want you as mine." He was quiet, then muttered uncertainly, "If that's okay?"  
"Yes, yes, please," Dan pleaded, the possessive words making him tremble and his cock aching - he wanted Phil to claim him, to keep him as his own. It was appealing, belonging to trustworthy, loving Phil, after the confusion of his life before they met, never quite belonging anywhere in the world. Right now, sprawled out on the sofa with his partner, he never felt more at home, even without the sex. "Please, I'm yours, please!"  
"Good," Phil replied pleasantly, bending and kissing Dan's cock with the same, sly wink the younger had done to Phil previously. Phil's finger pushed straight into Dan, slow and only halfway but still capable of making the apartment fill with moans.  
"More, more, Phil," Dan panted; Phil merely swirled his finger around, stretching Dan from the inside with a pleased smirk as the younger came undone before him. Eventually he pushed deeper, his finger pressing against Dan's prostate and making him scream out, gripping his own hands tight. Phil chuckled, applying more pressure to the sensitive spot as he continuously thrusted his finger in and out of the boy. Dan arched his back, panting with pleasure, but just as he met Phil's steady gaze, the hand on his cock began to wank him perfectly, squeezing the shaft as his thumb ran up the sides and over the head.  
"Phil - God -" Dan mumbled, barely able to catch his breath or form a word due to the moaning, but Phil seemed to understand, chuckling again. Dan knew this was partly revenge for the taunting blowjob - he deserved the treatment and he loved every second of it.  
"More?" Phil asked, his deep voice cutting through the moans, and Dan nodded vigorously, wanting to feel more inside him, to be stretched by the man and filled. Another finger slid inside him, pressing against his prostate along with the first, and before long Phil had added a third, his hands moving quicker both inside him and on his aching, reddened cock.  
"Phil - it's too m- fuck!" Dan could feel the sweat bead on his skin, beneath his fringe, just like when he was doing his routines under the hot lights, his top sticking to his back as he rolled about with his legs spread wide.  
"Getting close?" Phil asked cockily, jabbing the fingers inside Dan sharply and making the boy jump and groan.  
"Y-es, fuck, fuck, Phil," Dan babbled as he felt himself near orgasm.  
"Look at me then. Right at me," Phil demanded, slightly breathless again too, his hands not slowly, and Dan forced himself to meet Phil's eyes though it made another moan escape him to see Phil look so turned on too, his lips wet and cheeks flushed. It was the sight of the man that pushed Dan over the edge, moaning loudly and shoving his own face into the back of the sofa, his body limp and tired from all the stimulation yet still jerking, his hips continuously thrusting his cock into Phil's tight hand. He could barely see, his breathing too loud and fast to make sense of anything but the feelings in his body, and he had to close his eyes, his legs twitching as he bit the sofa.  
It took him several minutes to wind down, his breathing rapid and teeth clamped on the sofa cushion tight, unable to move his limbs until he caught his breath and gathered himself. The feeling of Phil's lips on his skin - his chest, his neck, his cheek - snapped him out of his haze and grounded him, and soon Dan was able to close his legs and take his face away from the back of the sofa.  
"Are you alright?" Phil questioned carefully, smiling at the spent boy, and Dan nodded, wrapping his arms around Phil's back and squeezing tight.  
"Yeah," he breathed, closing his eyes again and relaxing. "God, how did you do that?"  
"Do what?" Phil laughed.  
"Finger me like that?" Dan exclaimed, making Phil laugh loudly. "I've never had- Never felt it like - that before."  
"I don't know," Phil hummed, his expression pleased. "Something I'm good at, I guess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't be bothered to think of a less sudden ending so yolo.


	20. Blue Velvet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love was ours" - Blue Velvet.

It was only a couple of months until Dan made the slow transition of moving into Phil's apartment, barely returning to his flat unless he absolutely had to whilst bringing his belongings one item at a time back to Phil's for new permanent residence. It excited Phil greatly to have Dan move in with him - he could now have someone to look forward to and think about during the long, dreary work hours. The nights were perfect: ordering takeaways and snuggling up with new shows to watch; playing video games with one another until the early hours; having passionate sex in every area of the apartment. It was perfect. Dan had settled in immediately, and had soon been introduced to Phil's family: they were a proper couple now, the kind that held hands as they shopped at the supermarket and left each other ridiculously cheesy messages when they missed one another during the day. They had even told one another that they were in love, finally saying the words that were squirrelled away in their subconscious since the day they met.  
It was a world away from the time Dan had ran from Phil and tried to block him out, and though Dan was slowly learning to trust the elder fully and give his whole heart to him, there were a few bumps along the road, insecurities rising until Phil managed to talk him out of his panics.  
It was after one of those episodes when the pair of them lay together in their bed, panting and sweating after the vigorous yet loving sex following Dan's vocalisations that he had been afraid Phil would leave him: Phil had come home to find Dan crying, and held and kissed the boy until he calmed, before they slept together to regain some of that trust and closeness as a physical demonstration. They were on their sides, breathing heavily as Phil stroked Dan's cheek, and he said quietly, "I love you,remember? I won't ever leave you."  
"I know," Dan muttered, pushing his fringe back and closing his eyes briefly. Phil's hand pressed against Dan's chest and felt his pounding heart beat, grinning to himself as he felt how excited he had got the younger feeling. Dan opened his eyes again and shifted on the bed so they could embrace, their arms wrapped tight around one another's naked body. "Phil?"  
"Mm?"  
"You know...my job?" Dan's words were tentative, almost fearful, and Phil leaned his head back to look at the boy's face properly.  
"Yeah?" He wasn't sure what Dan was going to say but he sensed it was something serious. Dan hadn't returned to the club once during the seven months they had got back together, despite his boss' desperate calls and texts pleading for him to return, for his sake if not the audience's. Dan had only done private bookings, and although Phil wasn't entirely pleased with the idea of his partner stripping off for other men some nights, he appreciated that Dan wanted his financial independence; Dan hardly let Phil pay for anything if he could manage to spend the money he possessed. Phil also didn't mind that Dan stripped for people that weren't him because he knew he had the private parts of Dan they couldn't get: his moans, his cock, his hot expressions when he was having an orgasm - Dan was all his.  
"Well...I didn't tell you, but I was looking at other work while you've been out. Like...a waiter or something. In a restaurant. Just until I find something even better." Dan's words were blunt, still almost nervous, yet Phil couldn't understand why. It was brilliant news, and he smiled widely, hugging Dan tighter as he exclaimed, "That's wonderful!"  
"Really?" Dan mumbled against Phil's skin, sounding surprised.  
"Of course!" Phil said cheerfully. "You can work yourself up, have proper hours. I know you want to be independent with money and not rely on me, so that's really good for you!"  
"Oh!" Dan replied, laughing, "You don't mind? That it's just...being a waiter. Instead of, like, something more dignified and impressive?"  
"Why would I mind?" Phil questioned, still smiling but his brow creasing as he looked down at the boy in his arms. He disliked the idea of Dan thinking Phil could ever look down on his lifestyle choices. He might have been well-off but he wasn't a snob. "Dan, I don't mind what job you want to do. It's your life too. I wouldn't even mind if you didn't want to work at all, I have more than enough money for us both."  
Dan squirmed in Phil's arms, as he always did when money became subject of conversation, but joked flatly, "Well, I definitely /am/ working, so you can scrap that plan." He leaned up on his elbow, a proper smile creeping onto his face. "I'm so happy that you're happy."  
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Phil asked curiously, lying down on his back so Dan was leaning over him, his free hand trailing down his nose and across his lips lightly. "Were you scared I wouldn't approve?"  
"Kind of," Dan mumbled, his fingertips brushing down Phil's chin and down his neck, tickling his throat. "There was that, which is silly, I know, but I was kind of scared. I haven't done anything but stripping my whole working life, and now I have to learn all these new skills."  
"I know it's going to be scary but it's exciting!" Phil said brightly, letting out a quiet grunt as Dan's hand slid down his chest and stomach. "You can finally tell my parents what you do for a living at least." It was a half-joke, and he was pleased to hear Dan laugh. The younger sighed still, and rested his head on Phil's chest before sliding his hand beneath the duvet which rested over Phil's hips and stroking just above his cock.  
"What if I miss it though? Stripping?" He swallowed audibly. "I know it can be humiliating sometimes but I'm actually good at it. The dancing..." Phil groaned as Dan's hand brushed against his still-sensitive cock.  
"Hey," Phil insisted, taking Dan's hand and squeezing comfortingly before opening his eyes to look at his face. "This is your decision. You don't need to rush into anything just yet. And besides, you can always dance for me."  
They grinned at each other and Dan pressed a damp kiss against Phil's neck, whispering devilishly, "I'll always strip for you, Phil." His tone changed as he pulled his face away and continued, "I've contacted a few managers and they don't mind giving me a shot, so I think I have a chance at least."  
"Of course you'll have a chance. They'd have to be crazy not to take you," Phil whispered, his eyes lingering on Dan's before dropping to his tempting lips. It was impossible for either of them to not lean in for a kiss, their lips touching firmly before Dan lay down properly and closed his eyes, shifting closer to Phil. The elder sighed contently, deciding to not think of the new developments of his partner's new job and change of lifestyle until the morning, so he merely reached to the bedside lamp and switched it off, the dimly lit room going dark within a second as they drifted off to sleep after an exchange of 'I love you'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a quick one, lads, but I want to move things along. Pretend this is decent enough.


	21. Gods and Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "In the land of gods and monsters, I was an angel living in the garden of evil" - Gods and Monsters.

Dan had left no text message, no warning, to his boss - rather than explain he wanted to leave the club and move on from stripping, he decided it would be much more professional to say it in person. He was ready for a fresh start, especially now he was in a relationship with a wonderful man, and he knew sticking to the raunchy job wouldn't help him to move forwards. He was terrified, of course - he would lie awake with Phil's arm wrapped around his waist, listening to his partner softly snore, wondering if he was making the right choice. Should he stay? Dance for paying men and women for money for the rest of his life? Was he moving to fast, completely out of his depth with a new job requiring new skills he hadn't mastered?  
He lingered outside the club, debating this for what seemed the millionth time, biting his lip. He paced anxiously, glancing at the sky as the sun began to lower, because he was scared of letting go of his past. He had worked here since he was a teen, and there was so much he was leaving behind, so many memories. Of course, a lot of his memories working here were bad: Jim abandoning him; the feeling loneliness that gripped him from the inside despite the room being crowded with people; the times when people got a little too rough and held him too tightly, trying to take more than he was offering. He closed his eyes and breathed out, shuddering at how lucky he had been all these years: he knew he had been desired greatly by many, some of which wanting him even if he said no, yet he had still never had an awful encounter like he heard one or two of the strippers he worked with had endured.  
It was still quiet, early evening - the people who came to watch the dancers were still at their jobs, or with their spouses and children, and not yet ready to come to the seedy paradise they slipped off to at night when they were looking for no-strings thrills. Dan knew this would be the best time to speak to his boss, as there would be no distracting, loud music and people in the crowd grabbing at him, asking for a dance when they recognised that he was the sought-after Dean James. He clenched his fists, trying to snap out of the 'am I doing the right thing' panic, and marched past the bouncer, his jacket flapping in a weakly dramatic manner behind him. He went straight to the back of the club, through the side doors and to his managers office, not even bothering to look at the strippers who were practising some simple moves while the room was still light and there were only a few wary patrons sitting at the bar just looking for some alcohol.  
Dan found his boss, Roy, in the office tapping on his mobile, the scruff on his face an indicator that he would be stressed and snappy: when Dan's boss became caught up in keeping an eye on the club and constantly sending out streams of messages to his valued customers, he would barely leave the tiny, off-cream office. Instead Roy would focus all of his energy and determination on ensuring the strippers were getting as many jobs as possible and going to the right people - the ones who were willing to pay the most were a priority.  
Dan knocked on the door though he had already stepped inside the room, clearing his throat and fiddling with his fingers as he faced Roy, waiting for the man who finish frowning at his screen before speaking. When he looked up and grunted, distantly signalling that he was listening, Dan took a deep breath and said immediately, "I'm leaving. This job. I'm finished."  
They were words he had been fearful to say - he had been so caught up in the idea that he was making a bad choice that the thought of the words leaving his lips had almost silenced him. However, he felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, his body ten times lighter. This felt right, standing in front of the man he had worked for for years and telling him he was ready to close this chapter of his life and start something new - even if Roy's mouth fell open and a frown cut into his forehead immediately.  
"What?" he questioned, though Dan had said the words perfectly. "Leaving? You're quitting on me?"  
"I'm quitting on this job," Dan emphasised, his hands curling into fists. It didn't look as if his boss would let him go too easily. "I can't do this for the rest of my life. This isn't who I am."  
"This is exactly who you are!" Roy snapped, standing from his creaky seat and folding his arms. Though he looked firm, his voice was a whine, clearly desperate to keep hold of one of his best strippers. "You're one of the best at what you do, everyone loves you, you -"  
"No, they love Dean James," Dan interrupted, his own volume raising. He felt heat flush to his cheeks, a passion rising inside him. He had never told his boss how he felt, how despite the fact he /did/ enjoy the attention, the dancing, the feeling of being desired and free and sexy, there was still something not quite right. Memories of Jim haunted him in the overly-familiar club, along with the dark shame that settled in his heart when he thought too hard about his position in life: something on display, not quite a real human. Since he had met Phil, who loved him for everything Dan didn't know he had - his personality, his humour, his brain - Dan had slowly developed a much more solid respect for himself. Spending all those months with Phil made Dan realise there was so much life to explore outside the shackles of merely taking his clothes off and repeating the same moved for men just so he could afford minimum essentials. Dan felt warm, heated, a fire inside him, and his fear melted even when he looked into the wide, popping eyes of his boss. "I'm more than that."  
Roy stared Dan for a moment, narrowing his eyes, and asked almost accusingly, "There's someone else, isn't there? Some boy or girl who thinks this kind of work isn't good enough for them." Roy scoffed and stepped back, finally looking away. Dan gritted his teeth at the words - the way his boss dismissed Phil made him want to lash out, but he knew he would soon be out of the door and would never have to look back.  
"No. He thinks /I'm/ better than being just a stripper," Dan shot back. "And he's right. So delete my number because I'm not working for you anymore."  
Scathingly, Roy laughed and turned to his desk, shaking his head. "You'll come back, Dan. You always do. Every last one of you."  
Dan said nothing else, finished with the conversation, and walked back to the main section of the club; he breathed out slowly, not realising he had been holding his breath, and glanced around for one last time. No more flashing lights, no more thumping music. No more exposed flesh and staring eyes, the other girls and boys writhing against his sweating body just for the pleasure of the audience. They weren't important anymore. The only significant people in his life were Phil and himself now, a thought that made Dan smile, a bubble of laughter rising out of his throat at the amazement of how good it felt to let go.  
As he walked back home - his clean, perfect, warm home where Phil was waiting to see how it went - he briefly panicked, wondering if Roy was right. Would he really go back to that place in the end? It was a thought that made him shudder, though a few months previously he would have barely given it another thought.  
"No," he muttered to himself, shoving his hands deep into his pockets and speeding up his pace in the darkening street, though it was well-lit with the shining lights of passing vehicles. He could only go forwards - take the path that removed him from being just another pretty face to something truly special and unique. "No going back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the awkward week of a half-chapter lying around like a cringey mess, I have finally finished it now I have a laptop. Sorry about that; I will finish this story ASAP.


	22. Yayo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You have to take me right now from this dark trailer park" - Yayo.

Phil was worried as he sat on the sofa, looking at the time again and glancing hurriedly to the front door. He had asked Dan if he wanted him to be there when he quit his job, but Dan had insisted this was something he needed to do alone. Phil came home early from work all the same: he wasn't sure if Dan would feel a bit sad that he was leaving a job he had been working in for so many years, and if he was, Phil wanted to be there to mop up his tears and hold him close.  
The moment there was a scrape at the door, Phil jumped, nearly spilling the coffee he had wedged between his knees over his work trousers, but he managed to grab it and put it on the table before there was a disaster. Dan stepped through the door, pink-cheeked with the cold and his hair messy from the wind outside, a relieving large smile spread across his face.  
"Hey, you," Phil smiled, smiling back as Dan closed the door and pulled his jacket off. "How did it go?"  
"Well, he was sorry to see me go, I guess," Dan shrugged, brushing at his hair and trying to get it to sit in place. "But I think he'll miss the money much more."  
"Ah," Phil said, reaching out to Dan as he walked towards the sofa; his hands caught the younger's hips as he sat on top of Phil's lap, their lips meeting immediately in greeting. When they pulled away, noses still touching, Dan let out a light giggle. "What?" Phil asked, sliding his hands down Dan's hips and along his thighs, the material of his clinging jeans cold.  
"That's it. No more dancing," Dan sighed, leaning his head on Phil's shoulder cheerfully. Phil swept his hand over Dan's back, leaning back against the sofa.  
"No one said you had to stop dancing," he pointed out, closing his eyes for a moment and just enjoying being in Dan's presence, their limbs tangled and bodies warming against each other. It was perfect, sitting like this most nights - a complete world away from the years of being alone in the apartment with no one to even talk to. Dan shifted, pressing his lips to the elder's neck, and said coyly, "That's true. My audience of one." His lips kissed slowly but firmly up Phil's neck, ghosting along his jaw while he groaned, gripping Dan tighter.  
"I'll make up for the rest of your audience if you want," Phil offered jokingly, grunting when Dan's crotch rocked against his own as the younger pulled at Phil's lower lip with his teeth, but before he could continue with the joke, Dan was kissing him hard, cutting off his speaking and moaning into his mouth. Phil picked up on the mood immediately, feeling the hardness through Dan's jeans against his own, the breathlessness that made his chest tighten and ache. His hands continued to glide over Dan's body, cupping his ass and squeezing firmly with a sharp pinch that made the younger yelp.  
"Will you do it again for me?" Phil asked quietly as Dan leaned back to look into Phil's eyes properly. "Dance for me? Just like you did when we first met?"  
Dan's eyes flickered over Phil's slightly-swollen lips and damp throat, his hand tangling in the black, silky hair. "You want that?"  
"I want /you/," Phil pointed out, squeezing Dan's backside daringly once again but kissing his mouth sweetly. When he pulled away, he looked up from beneath his eyelashes, batting them in a silly way. "If you don't mind?"  
Dan rolled his eyes but laughed, clambering off Phil's lap and the sofa before hurrying to the bedroom speedily. "Wait there!" he called from the adjacent room, making Phil chuckle to himself. While Dan was gone, getting prepared to put on a private show, he quickly fixed his hair and undid his work tie to loosen his collar and relax, standing up abruptly like a Jack-in-the-box before sitting again to get comfortable; blood was pumping quickly through his veins, excitement and desire accelerating his heart. It had been a while since Dan had danced for him, and it was one of Phil's favourite things: his beautiful Dan dancing just for him, his eyes only falling on Phil's.  
The lights suddenly went off, plunging Phil into darkness as Dan switched them off for dramatic effect; Phil could hear him shifting about in the dark, smiling to himself as music began to play from the edge of the room - a slow and sensual track with a gentle rhythm, making Phil's cock twitch already as he imagined what the sight before him would be. He kept his hands by his sides, limp on the sofa, as he was aware that Dan liked to get Phil excited without any physical contact, to tease him, to be the first to touch him as he moved. The lights came back on, making Phil blink as the song slowly began it's progression, and Dan was walking over with equal timing, his eyes rimmed with the black eyeliner he often wore, his hair pushed back from his forehead, the daringly tight stripper suit once again hugging Dan's body. It made Phil groan to see him, his fingers twitching as he itched to reach out and touch the boy in front of him, or at least himself, but he kept them where they were, curling them into fists as Dan bit his lip and stepped directly in front of Phil.  
When their eyes weren't locked on one another's, Phil was glancing over the body in front of him, hungrily waiting for exposed flesh as Dan swung his hips steadily to the beat, his hands brushing where Phil's had: his thighs, his hips, stroking his own neck and tilting his head. It was agony for Phil to wait for the loose tie Dan wore around his neck off, shifting in his seat when the boy gripped it between his teeth and pulled, and complete hell when Dan took his precious time to undo the buttons of his shirt. With each inch of flesh revealed, Phil felt his breathing hitch a little more, staring at the soft skin underneath the thin, cheap shirt that he was beginning to want to tear from the teasing boy's body: he wanted it so badly he could clearly hear the clatter of scattered buttons and hear the yelping groan escape Dan's plump lips.  
"Dan," he moaned eventually, unable to bear the teasing, but all it did was make Dan smile to himself, slowly pushing his hand down his stomach and beneath his trousers, not allowing Phil to see him touch himself. Dan allowed himself to be heard though - soft groans barely audible over the gentle chug of music, his hand shifting under the tight material and his head tipping back as he continued to sway. Phil gripped at the sofa and struggled to swallow, practically panting as he listened to the boy touch his own hard cock. He finally snapped when he heard Dan's hushed whimper of, "Phil."  
In an instant Phil was standing, not caring that the song was still playing; he pulled the boy's hands from his trousers and pulled the unbuttoned shirt from Dan's body, gripping his wrists and kissing his smiling lips before growling, "You were never going to finish dancing, were you? You were just going to get off without letting me get to touch you too."  
Dan giggled. "Nope."  
"Naughty," Phil scolded against Dan's neck, his hands once again gripping the younger's perk cheeks. He could barely think straight. "I want you so much."  
"Take me then," Dan breathed, daring Phil to grab him, to touch him.  
"Bend over the sofa," Phil muttered, already knowing exactly what he wanted; he slapped Dan's ass, enjoying the moaning yelp that followed. "I'm going to fuck you right now, you naughty tease." He felt his cheeks warm at the words he spoke, noticing Dan's eyes widen with equal surprise, but Dan was immediately rushing to the sofa and planting his hands on his, ass up and facing Phil with his legs slightly spread, giving him enough access to touch his inner-thigh and cock through the trousers. Pale hands brushed smooth, unblemished skin, hooking into the thin waistband and tugging the black material until it was a pool on the ground, leaving Dan naked and shivering at each little touch and back-of-the-throat groan. Phil pulled at Dan's cheeks, spreading them and staring at his partner's hole, which made Dan whine desperately for touch. "See, it's not very nice being teased, it it?" Phil said sharply, releasing Dan's ass to pull at his belt. His cock was aching, straining against the material of his work trousers, and he couldn't move fast enough to release his member and be inside the younger. "I was thinking of this today," he confessed, though his voice remained serious and deep. "Being inside you." "Phil," Dan whined, pushing his hips back and arching his back. "Please, just do it." "Having you bent over the sofa with your trousers around your ankles," Phil continued, ignoring Dan's pleading to brush the head of his cock against his hole, taunting him. "Like a slut." "Phil!" Dan cried, pushing back harder. "Please!" "Give me a minute!" Phil replied firmly, lubing his cock hurriedly. He didn't want to waste time fingering Dan, so he had to be careful not to hurt the boy with stretching too much. Adequately lubed, Phil nudged the head of his length inside Dan and listened to the echoing moan that bounced off the walls - he was barely inside him but Dan was wonderfully, noisily responsive, making Phil smirk. He gripped Dan's hip with one hand hard as he slowly pushed in, grunting himself and once again becoming breathless, digging his nails into Dan's hip as he filled him. It was a relishing moment, to be inside Dan, their bodies connected, as the younger panted and writhed and moaned, barely able to support himself on his palms. It didn't deter Phil from beginning to thrust slowly, building up the depth and speed as the sounds of Dan's begging and moaning spurred him on to make his beautiful boyfriend feel good. Dan bent at the waist, sweating and panting as Phil's hips snapped hard in a rough rhythm against his ass, and stretched his hand out for Phil to hold; Phil felt his heart warm, as the position must have surely made Dan's body ache and burn, but it meant a lot that he wanted to grasp his hand, to increase the contact. It was the action followed by Dan's broken, jagged, perfectly agonised, "I love you," that topped the moment of intimacy and passion like a cherry on a cake, and Phil squeezed Dan's hand harder, replying with a short but meaningful, "Love you too," before he let go so Dan could support himself on both elbows and lose himself in the moment just as much as Phil was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why the final paragraph is clumped together but it won't change and it's pissing me off; oh well, smut.


	23. Bel Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I can’t wait to see you so I run, like I'm mad, to heaven's door" - Bel Air.

The air that hit into Phil's face the moment he stepped out of the building was cold and almost cruel on his warm cheek, but he curled his hands in his pockets tighter and hunched his shoulders slightly to brace himself against the cold wind. It was busy outside his building, with people walking quickly and the road blocked up by buses and taxis, but it wasn't a deterrent that stopped him from making the brisk walk to Mirrick's, the restaurant that opened last year and recruited Dan. It wasn't a particularly bright day but Phil was in a good mood, even though in the back of his mind he knew he had paperwork and emails to catch up on. He was keen to see Dan in the midst of his new job, as he hadn't caught the chance to see him in action yet.  
He stopped outside the restaurant, ducking out of the way of people walking by and trying to peer in before he entered, attempting to spot Dan. He found him standing at a table, looking down at some diners with a pleasant smile and scribbling their order on a notepad, his black shirt fitting him perfectly. In comparison to his old work clothes, it was respectful and almost prudish, with the collar buttoned right up to his throat and the shirt tucked in, but he still looked divine. What was more satisfying to see was the natural smile on Dan's face and his relaxed posture as he spoke to the customers.  
Dan looked up at the large window where Phil stood outside gawping in and smiled, his body lurching slightly as if to rush to him in greeting, but he held back and paused, stepping aside after finishing taking the order and waiting for Phil to come in instead, his smile even wider.  
Phil pushed the door open and walked inside: it was a spacious yet comfortable place, with soft music playing on the radio behind the counter and smiling waiters and waitresses walking about. At the glossy wooden tables sat elderly couples, young groups of friends, intellectuals alone - all of them with delicious food in front of them in the pleasant atmosphere. Phil liked this place - it was the opposite of the sharp-edged, shadowed club where Dan had danced for so long, and it appeared he fitted in more here than he had up on the stage  
Dan crossed the room, dodging the empty chairs neatly - in the afternoon, there were quiet lulls - to rush to Phil, giving up his professional appearance to wrap his arms around Phil. Phil hugged back, chuckling, and murmured, "Is this what I have to expect every time I come to eat here?"  
"No," Dan replied, pulling away but keeping his body close, their fronts almost touching. "I'm just excited. Plus I missed you."  
"Excited?" Phil repeated with a humoured frown as he pulled his coat off and draped it over the back of a chair. "I'm just ordering a meal."  
"But you can see how I take the order! You sit down and I'll walk over and do it like you're a real customer," Dan said excitedly, walking across the room and back to the counter at the back. Phil sat down and pulled his chair under, amazed by how quickly Dan had settled into his job - he hadn't expected the transition from stripping to waiting to be easy - and waited for Dan to walk over calmly, notepad back in hand. Dan lowered his head slightly at the table and asked seriously, "Hello. Can I get you a drink?"  
"A coffee would be nice," Phil repeated as deadpan as he could manage, though couldn't help but laugh in amusement at the silly game. Dan wrote the word down and then continued, "Do you know what you're ordering or will you need time to look at the menu?"  
Phil didn't reply for a moment, gazing at Dan above him, and smiled softly. "I love you."  
"Phil, you're supposed to let me take your order," Dan sighed, putting arms down huffily.  
"I know, but it's true. Are you happy here?" Phil couldn't resist the question that burst from his lips. Dan rolled his eyes.  
"For the final time, yes, I'm happy," he answered with sass, but bent to briefly kiss Phil on the cheek, keeping his lips against Phil's skin as he whispered, "I love you too."  
He straightened swiftly and murmured, "I'll go and get your coffee before you get me fired."  
Phil smirked as Dan turned to walk away, patting his butt quickly and making Dan flail his arm back to attempt to hit him as he went back to the counter where the coffee machine sat. Phil watched Dan as he fiddled with the coffee machine and nattered to a waitress, as if he had been waiting for years. He was Dan the waiter now, rather than Dan the stripper, and though Phil loved him either way, he knew which path would give Dan more opportunities and happiness. Dan turned around as he chatted quietly to his friend and smiled widely at Phil, cheeks pink, clearly talking about him, and the elder smiled back, feeling pride burn in his chest at everything they had accomplished - both of them. They now shared a home together, Dan had a steady job, and Phil felt complete, the loneliness that had surrounded him now erased so he was untouched by it.  
Dan finally walked over, coffee in hand, and placed it in front of Phil neatly. "There you are, Sir," he said, back in his serious, waiter persona. Phil thanked him and sipped his hot coffee, blowing it cooler when it scalded his lips, before turning back to his boyfriend and settling the cup back on the table to request his order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.


End file.
